It Was a Baby

I recently met a Christian woman who is the mother of nine children. A mutual friend thought the two of us should meet since I am the mother of eight children. This mutual friend thought we would have a lot in common. Indeed.

Upon meeting this mother of nine, I mentioned that I really was the mother of nine, too, since we had lost our first baby. I told her I felt so privileged to be able to subsequently give birth to eight healthy people. To my mention of my loss, she said, "Oh...did you lose a pregnancy or a baby?"

Stunned, I said, "Well, um....I was pregnant...."

"Yeah," she said with the wave of her hand, "I lost a few pregnancies along the way, too."

That was the end of the conversation, but I have not been able to get it out of my head. Mainly, I'm disappointed in myself that I did not correct her and tell her that my pregnancy was a baby. I wanted to make her stop being dismissive and give me the nod of sympathy I deserved.

This is why, when I meet someone who has lost a baby while still pregnant, I look them in the eye and say, "I'm so sorry for your loss."

Losing a pregnancy is losing a baby. There is no way around that. I lost my first baby, not just my first pregnancy. I will never forget the devastation I felt and the hopeless feeling of failure that brought to me. It has been 33 years, yet I still remember those feelings very vividly.

But, I can't remember the name of that mother of nine I recently met.

Cherish every pregnancy as if there's real baby growing in there, because there is.
~Tricia

A Term Of Convenience

Last night, there was a news special on the news show 20/20 and it piqued my interest. William and Kate are having a baby this summer and 20/20 decided to devote an hour to their story. It was interesting to learn a few things about the British and their babies. I learned they don't have baby showers because they think it's incredibly rude to invite people to give them gifts. I learned that a royal baby's nanny becomes proficient in Tae Kwon Do in order to property defend the baby. And they learn evasive driving techniques to avoid the paparazzi.


Kate is still pregnant. Yet not one time did they refer to her unborn child as a fetus. They called him or her "the baby." Every. Single. Time.

Fetus is a term of convenience. Abortionists know that using the term fetus for the unborn sounds medical and helps pregnant women come to terms with an abortion more easily.

What does it mean?

According to even a simple source like Wikipedia, the word fetus is from the Latin and literally means "offspring," "bringing forth," and "hatching of young."

So, an abortionist could say "I will abort your fetus," yes, but they could also say, "I will abort your offspring" or "I will abort your young."

Abort means simply to terminate some process. In pregnancy, that process is the development (growth) of the fetus. So, an abortionist could say, "I will terminate the growing process of your offspring now," or "I will terminate the growth of your young now."

What if abortionists actually talked like that?  It would be more humane. It would be more understandable to the young women in their clinics.

Wouldn't that be something?
~Tricia

About Birthdays

Today, one of my sons turns 17 years old. Wow. He's a wonderful young man whom I love to spend time with.

There is something incredibly powerful about my children's birthdays. They touch me more deeply than my own birthdays. Seriously. When they were growing up, birthdays were special because everyone got a day off school, I was always in the kitchen making their birthday cake, which made the house smell wonderful, and we paused for just a moment in the chaos of life, to let the birthday boy or girl know that their birthday was worth pausing for...that they are special, wanted, loved and worth celebrating.

When I first became a mom, I had no idea I would end up being mom to eight kids. As each pregnancy came, I rejoiced with excitement as though it was my first. I followed the progress of my growing baby, taught the other kids that their new sibling couldn't wait to meet them (this avoided jealously altogether) and prepared for the birth of each baby with great anticipation.

I also quickly learned that not everyone shared my great anticipation. Not everyone was so happy about my babies. Not everyone shared my and my husband's joy. I found this incredibly confusing because the Bible tells me that "Children are an heritage of the Lord; blessed it he who has his quiver full of them." (Psalm 127:3) Yet, all my naysayers were Christian people. How can this be? They said things like:

"No way, another baby? How many are you gonna have?"

My response was always, "As many as we want."

"Well, I don't know what you're thinking, but all those babies are expensive and I don't see how you can afford another one!"

My thought in response to this was, "How can we afford NOT to have more?"

"I think you should stop and think about what you're doing here....so many babies can't be good for you."

My thought was, "My doctor says pregnancy is good for me. Since he's the medical professional, I'll go with his opinion."

"Seriously? Another baby already? When are you two going to stop?"

My response, "Seriously. Another baby. Relax, you don't have to pay for this baby or do anything for him or her."

"You have got to be kidding me! You already have two - a boy and a girl - what more do you want?"

"You have got to be kidding me! You already have three!"

"You have got to be kidding me! You already have four!"

"You have got to be kidding me! You already have five! Oh, for crying out loud."

"You two will never have any money."

To my utter confusion, no one in my "Christian" world seemed to be happy about what I thought was one of the greatest blessings of all time.

My response to all this? I didn't argue with my naysayers. What could I say? I was guilty of having "yet another baby." I had no defense.

But I DID have a response. I certainly did. My response?

Have "yet another" baby.

So very, very glad I did!

~Tricia