My husband is a grown man. One day, this grown man was eating a dish of chocolate ice cream. The way my husband eats chocolate ice cream, this could be any given day. Once, someone with us didn't think he should be eating so much chocolate, so that person said, "Tricia, why do you let him eat all that chocolate?"
I replied, very quickly, "Let him? Oh, no. I don't tell him what to eat! He's a grown man, he gets to eat what he wants."
This person was shocked at my answer and wasn't happy that I wasn't going to tell my husband what to eat. Hmmm. I've had similar encounters that begin with "Tricia, why do you let him........" People, I don't "let" my husband do anything nor do I prevent him from doing anything! He's a grown man and gets to do what he wants. I believe this idea of me "letting" him do things or not letting him do things stems from the fact that I'm his wife. But, I can't find anything in the world, let alone Scripture, that says being his wife means I'm his life manager. Uh, uh; no way; not me. I have enough trouble managing my own life, let alone his!
But, I do have to admit, this ice cream encounter made me aware and I began to make observations. Over the years, I've observed a few patterns in the lives of married people I've been around. A startling realization was that a lot of women take it upon themselves to be their husband's life manager as soon as they say "I do!" And those husbands are letting them!
Ladies, let go of him! Let him manage his own life. The meaning of "helpmeet" is not "life manager." It's a helper fit for him. If you do a Biblical word search of the word helpmeet, you will discover that the word is used mostly in a military context. A fellow soldier. A comrade. No soldier needs his comrades telling him what or how much to eat, what time he should be home, how long he gets to play golf or any other thing.
Let go of him! I once gave a devotional at a wedding shower and I spoke of this very thing. One of my points was that it's not our job as wives to change our husbands or make them into the men they "ought" to be. The Holy Spirit of God is perfectly capable of doing just that. Our job in marriage is to look to Jesus, The Author and Finisher of our faith. Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Only.
When we get married and wake up one day and realize that our "Prince Charming" suddenly has flaws that were certainly not there before, we need to look to Jesus. Prince Charming did not suddenly develop new behaviors. On the contrary, our rose-colored glasses simply got whitewashed and we saw reality instead of roses. Jesus knew about those flaws long before you did and He has already developed His plan to sanctify Prince Charming, without your intervention.
So, let go of him. Look to Jesus, let your husband live his own life, and I guarantee you will have a much happier husband. Oh, and if you're worried that he might not choose you over his other activities, remember that he chose you in first place and will choose you over and over again. He might want some ice cream first.
~Tricia
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Mentioning Jesus/Giving the Gospel
Mentioning Jesus at the end of a funeral message is not the same as giving the Gospel at a funeral. Just so you know.
My husband attended the funeral of one of our members this week. Even though the person was a member of our church, my husband did not preach the funeral. We have no idea why he wasn't invited to do just that; it's normally a given with a sitting pastor. But, another man preached the funeral and my husband attended. And this other preacher did not give the Gospel message - not even once - during his message. He mentioned Jesus at the end of his message, but that is not the same as giving the Gospel message.
My husband is troubled. His burden - as ANY pastor's burden - is to lead his flock in light of the Gospel at all times. A funeral is always attended by those who do not know the Savior and they need the Gospel. Not only so they can know Him, but the Gospel eases the pain of their hearts at a time of utter human sorrow. My husband always preaches the Gospel at every funeral, without fail. He has preached literally to thousands through funerals over his 29 years in the ministry and he has given the Gospel at every single one of the funerals he's preached.
So, the saddest part of the day is not the fact that this family laid their loved one to eternal rest. She's in Glory with her Savior. The saddest part of the day is that NOT ONE person heard the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ at her funeral. So, so very, very sad.
Where does my theology come into this? A deeper resolve to do the right thing no matter what. A deeper respect for my husband for going to show respect for that member, even though it was humiliating to be ignored. A firmer decision to live out the Gospel even in light of those who ignore it.
~Tricia
My husband attended the funeral of one of our members this week. Even though the person was a member of our church, my husband did not preach the funeral. We have no idea why he wasn't invited to do just that; it's normally a given with a sitting pastor. But, another man preached the funeral and my husband attended. And this other preacher did not give the Gospel message - not even once - during his message. He mentioned Jesus at the end of his message, but that is not the same as giving the Gospel message.
My husband is troubled. His burden - as ANY pastor's burden - is to lead his flock in light of the Gospel at all times. A funeral is always attended by those who do not know the Savior and they need the Gospel. Not only so they can know Him, but the Gospel eases the pain of their hearts at a time of utter human sorrow. My husband always preaches the Gospel at every funeral, without fail. He has preached literally to thousands through funerals over his 29 years in the ministry and he has given the Gospel at every single one of the funerals he's preached.
So, the saddest part of the day is not the fact that this family laid their loved one to eternal rest. She's in Glory with her Savior. The saddest part of the day is that NOT ONE person heard the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ at her funeral. So, so very, very sad.
Where does my theology come into this? A deeper resolve to do the right thing no matter what. A deeper respect for my husband for going to show respect for that member, even though it was humiliating to be ignored. A firmer decision to live out the Gospel even in light of those who ignore it.
~Tricia
Monday, May 23, 2011
Dealing with Abusive People
It seems I have been around abusive people my entire life, starting with my dad and his violent alcoholism. From my exposure to abusive people, I've made quite a few observations about their communication methods and I believe they are noteworthy in the sense that making note of them might help someone else recognize that they are in an abusive relationship.
By the way, I don't participate in abusive relationships any more. But, I will say that non-participation can be tricky as abusive people have a strong agenda that depends on their targets' cooperation. It's tricky in that you can actually be lured into participation without full realization of your participation! And, thus, an abuser's agenda has momentum to continue. When it comes right down to it, though, this is actually a powerful realization for a person under the oppressive behavior of an abuser. When we realize their agenda depends on our cooperation, we have realized the end of their agenda - at least for ourselves. Just don't cooperate. Hmmm.
No doubt this is easier said than done but the Bible really gives clear examples of this very thing. Throughout the Bible, we see a consistent, effective method for dealing with abusive people. In the book of John, John, himself, gives us a great example. What I learned from John is to have my own agenda, my own plan, making the abuser's agenda much harder for him to accomplish. John had his own agenda and it was clearly in place whenever he had encounters with the Pharisees. The Pharisees were highly abusive and openly tried to trap John many times. Their agenda was to expose his "false" teaching. His agenda was to proclaim Christ. He saw to it that his agenda was not derailed; he kept his focus, always directing the Pharisees back to Christ. He did it without apology. He did it without hesitation. He did it with consistency. He was focused and his focus was Jesus Christ. More on this in a minute.
An agenda, or a plan of your own, is a powerful tool when it comes to dealing with abusive people. When I was little and my dad was on yet another abusive rampage, it was all about him and what he wanted. If we didn't appear to understand his demands, he got louder. If we resisted in any way, he got violent. When he wasn't yelling, throwing things or beating us up, he was emotionally and mentally manipulating us. Growing up that way, it really never occurred to me that I could actually have a plan of my own; that I could actually have my own ideas, thoughts, plans, etc. It always had to be about him and we cowered in fear when he didn't get his way.
For the victim of any type of abuse, whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual, etc., having a plan of their own is not only essential to breaking the abusive pattern for themselves, it's essential for their own well being and sometimes even survival.
This is a starting point. If you are in any type of abusive relationship or know a loved one who is, help them start with a plan of their own. It can be as simple as a plan for a given day, a plan for the week, a plan for the year. Sometimes, the abuse is so intense that a person can only plan for the moment. That's okay, too. The greatest starting point for this plan is the Bible. Jesus Christ knew how to deal with abusive people; He did it all the time. He dealt with them by telling them the truth, standing His ground with them and He never really answered to them. This infuriated them, of course. Because Jesus had His own plan, He was not vulnerable to their abuse. He had His own reason to be in the conversation and that's what He stuck to. He was not all about them!
Read the book of John and see how John dealt with his abusers. John chapter 1, starting with verse 19 has John's first recorded encounter with abusive men who had their own agenda. John kept his focus, and he kept control of the conversation. Read through verse 28 and see how he managed all that! It's quite remarkable and a great example to us all.
Having my own plan has led me to develop personal policies that have shown to be powerful tools as well. There's something decidedly intimidating to an abusive person when their target does not cooperate and instead, cites that it's "against policy." Now, granted, we might not be in a situation where we can actually say that out loud, but we can certainly remember it for ourselves, remind ourselves mentally, and focus on that. I created my policies through the Scriptures, trying to make sure I was not manipulative myself, but focused on what God would have me do. God would not have me tolerate abuse, so that policy came easy.
How does my theology play into this? First of all, I use only Biblical principles in this process. I have learned to not be afraid of my own emotions, but use them as though they are really gifts to help me through a certain situation. For example, abuse often produces feelings of anger. Well, there's nothing wrong with being angry; the Bible says "be angry and sin not" (Ephesians 4:6). Anger is a real emotion and The Lord acknowledges that it exists and never tells us to ignore it. But, what do I do with that anger? I use it as a tool. It's a great motivator, keeps adrenaline flowing and helps my momentum. In anger, I have more courage to resist my abuser and it motivates me to keep my focus on God and what He would have me do. Anger does not have to be acted out in a negative way. Anger was motivation for our Savior when He overturned the moneychangers' tables in the temple. Anger is a great tool. It's important to control our actions even when our emotions are high and/or negative and using anger as a motivator instead of a destructive force will result in a more positive outcome. Quite honestly, there are some things that should make us angry! And there are things that will produce angry feelings. There's no profit in denying the anger or acting as though it's wrong to feel that way. What we do with it is what counts.
Secondly, my theology plays into this because I realize that I don't answer to any abuser, I answer to God. This is also a powerful realization for a person being abused, because it frees them from thinking that their abuser has any authority over them. While there are times when an abuser has authority (as in my case, my abuser in the past was my dad), ultimately it's your life and you will have the ultimate say in what you do with your life. A child does not have as many options (this is topic for another post), but when a child grows up, they DO have options. And even a child has more options than they might think. I realized early on that my dad could control my actions, but he could never control my thoughts, desires and plans. I made lots of plans. I wasn't able to carry them out as a child, but I made them anyway. Those plans led to dreams and those dreams led to motivation and that motivation led to my success in overcoming abuse. It also led me to create a set of guidelines for overcoming the effects of abuse and all its trappings. This is all according to the grace and leading of God; I'm not going to ever take credit for what He has done, but I will tell you the steps HE took in my life to free me from the debilitating effects of abuse. All these steps are a result of His leading, His grace and the power of His Word in my life.
I have a lot more to say about abuse and will continue to post in hopes that I can show how my theology comes into each and every situation I find myself in. Whether it's spiritual abuse from a misguided Christian or emotional abuse from an insecure relative, you can have victory over that abuse, one step at a time.
~Tricia
By the way, I don't participate in abusive relationships any more. But, I will say that non-participation can be tricky as abusive people have a strong agenda that depends on their targets' cooperation. It's tricky in that you can actually be lured into participation without full realization of your participation! And, thus, an abuser's agenda has momentum to continue. When it comes right down to it, though, this is actually a powerful realization for a person under the oppressive behavior of an abuser. When we realize their agenda depends on our cooperation, we have realized the end of their agenda - at least for ourselves. Just don't cooperate. Hmmm.
No doubt this is easier said than done but the Bible really gives clear examples of this very thing. Throughout the Bible, we see a consistent, effective method for dealing with abusive people. In the book of John, John, himself, gives us a great example. What I learned from John is to have my own agenda, my own plan, making the abuser's agenda much harder for him to accomplish. John had his own agenda and it was clearly in place whenever he had encounters with the Pharisees. The Pharisees were highly abusive and openly tried to trap John many times. Their agenda was to expose his "false" teaching. His agenda was to proclaim Christ. He saw to it that his agenda was not derailed; he kept his focus, always directing the Pharisees back to Christ. He did it without apology. He did it without hesitation. He did it with consistency. He was focused and his focus was Jesus Christ. More on this in a minute.
An agenda, or a plan of your own, is a powerful tool when it comes to dealing with abusive people. When I was little and my dad was on yet another abusive rampage, it was all about him and what he wanted. If we didn't appear to understand his demands, he got louder. If we resisted in any way, he got violent. When he wasn't yelling, throwing things or beating us up, he was emotionally and mentally manipulating us. Growing up that way, it really never occurred to me that I could actually have a plan of my own; that I could actually have my own ideas, thoughts, plans, etc. It always had to be about him and we cowered in fear when he didn't get his way.
For the victim of any type of abuse, whether it be physical, emotional, spiritual, etc., having a plan of their own is not only essential to breaking the abusive pattern for themselves, it's essential for their own well being and sometimes even survival.
This is a starting point. If you are in any type of abusive relationship or know a loved one who is, help them start with a plan of their own. It can be as simple as a plan for a given day, a plan for the week, a plan for the year. Sometimes, the abuse is so intense that a person can only plan for the moment. That's okay, too. The greatest starting point for this plan is the Bible. Jesus Christ knew how to deal with abusive people; He did it all the time. He dealt with them by telling them the truth, standing His ground with them and He never really answered to them. This infuriated them, of course. Because Jesus had His own plan, He was not vulnerable to their abuse. He had His own reason to be in the conversation and that's what He stuck to. He was not all about them!
Read the book of John and see how John dealt with his abusers. John chapter 1, starting with verse 19 has John's first recorded encounter with abusive men who had their own agenda. John kept his focus, and he kept control of the conversation. Read through verse 28 and see how he managed all that! It's quite remarkable and a great example to us all.
Having my own plan has led me to develop personal policies that have shown to be powerful tools as well. There's something decidedly intimidating to an abusive person when their target does not cooperate and instead, cites that it's "against policy." Now, granted, we might not be in a situation where we can actually say that out loud, but we can certainly remember it for ourselves, remind ourselves mentally, and focus on that. I created my policies through the Scriptures, trying to make sure I was not manipulative myself, but focused on what God would have me do. God would not have me tolerate abuse, so that policy came easy.
How does my theology play into this? First of all, I use only Biblical principles in this process. I have learned to not be afraid of my own emotions, but use them as though they are really gifts to help me through a certain situation. For example, abuse often produces feelings of anger. Well, there's nothing wrong with being angry; the Bible says "be angry and sin not" (Ephesians 4:6). Anger is a real emotion and The Lord acknowledges that it exists and never tells us to ignore it. But, what do I do with that anger? I use it as a tool. It's a great motivator, keeps adrenaline flowing and helps my momentum. In anger, I have more courage to resist my abuser and it motivates me to keep my focus on God and what He would have me do. Anger does not have to be acted out in a negative way. Anger was motivation for our Savior when He overturned the moneychangers' tables in the temple. Anger is a great tool. It's important to control our actions even when our emotions are high and/or negative and using anger as a motivator instead of a destructive force will result in a more positive outcome. Quite honestly, there are some things that should make us angry! And there are things that will produce angry feelings. There's no profit in denying the anger or acting as though it's wrong to feel that way. What we do with it is what counts.
Secondly, my theology plays into this because I realize that I don't answer to any abuser, I answer to God. This is also a powerful realization for a person being abused, because it frees them from thinking that their abuser has any authority over them. While there are times when an abuser has authority (as in my case, my abuser in the past was my dad), ultimately it's your life and you will have the ultimate say in what you do with your life. A child does not have as many options (this is topic for another post), but when a child grows up, they DO have options. And even a child has more options than they might think. I realized early on that my dad could control my actions, but he could never control my thoughts, desires and plans. I made lots of plans. I wasn't able to carry them out as a child, but I made them anyway. Those plans led to dreams and those dreams led to motivation and that motivation led to my success in overcoming abuse. It also led me to create a set of guidelines for overcoming the effects of abuse and all its trappings. This is all according to the grace and leading of God; I'm not going to ever take credit for what He has done, but I will tell you the steps HE took in my life to free me from the debilitating effects of abuse. All these steps are a result of His leading, His grace and the power of His Word in my life.
I have a lot more to say about abuse and will continue to post in hopes that I can show how my theology comes into each and every situation I find myself in. Whether it's spiritual abuse from a misguided Christian or emotional abuse from an insecure relative, you can have victory over that abuse, one step at a time.
~Tricia
Monday, May 2, 2011
Justice
Justice has been done in the death of Osama Bin Laden, the evil mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks on America. As soon as I saw a headline on the internet, I switched on the news for verification and learned it was true. I picked up my phone and called my son, Mike. No answer. I don't leave him voice mails - it's a thing with us - so I waited 15 minutes and tried to call again. No answer. I sent him a text, the best way to reach him anyway. I had to talk to Mike!
You see, Mike fought in Iraq - twice. He was on the front lines in the battle of Fallujah. He was doing urban combat at age 19 when his peers were headed off to college. He fought - and he came home - but many of his buddies did not come home. I had to talk to Mike!
After a few more minutes, my phone rang - it was Mike. "Mom! Can you believe it? I sure can! I knew we'd get him. We got him. I'm glued to the news."
"Yeah, we got him. We got him," I replied, a hesitancy in my voice. "I'm nearly speechless. I don't even know where to begin."
"I know it," he said, "I know it. It's amazing and just perfect. I never had a doubt. Never a doubt."
And, inwardly, I cried at the tone of his voice. This "boy" who became a man on a live battlefield in urban combat in a place 8,000 miles from home, had changed forever because of this war. He was strong before he went, but now he's stronger and has a different focus. His world is black and white now. There are no gray areas. He's decisive and sure; he's focused and intent. Right is right and wrong is wrong and he's prepared to live with the consequences of either. He goes in with his eyes wide open, tells you the truth, and does the right thing no matter what.
I am glad that justice has been served in the death of Osama Bin Laden. I am glad for all the families who lost loved ones on that September day. I'm glad for all the service men and women - and their families - who have served, fought and sacrificed to bring him to justice. And I am glad for my Mike.
And, deep in my "mother heart" I am acutely aware that I will never, ever get over my son going off to war. I am forever changed.
~Tricia
You see, Mike fought in Iraq - twice. He was on the front lines in the battle of Fallujah. He was doing urban combat at age 19 when his peers were headed off to college. He fought - and he came home - but many of his buddies did not come home. I had to talk to Mike!
After a few more minutes, my phone rang - it was Mike. "Mom! Can you believe it? I sure can! I knew we'd get him. We got him. I'm glued to the news."
"Yeah, we got him. We got him," I replied, a hesitancy in my voice. "I'm nearly speechless. I don't even know where to begin."
"I know it," he said, "I know it. It's amazing and just perfect. I never had a doubt. Never a doubt."
And, inwardly, I cried at the tone of his voice. This "boy" who became a man on a live battlefield in urban combat in a place 8,000 miles from home, had changed forever because of this war. He was strong before he went, but now he's stronger and has a different focus. His world is black and white now. There are no gray areas. He's decisive and sure; he's focused and intent. Right is right and wrong is wrong and he's prepared to live with the consequences of either. He goes in with his eyes wide open, tells you the truth, and does the right thing no matter what.
I am glad that justice has been served in the death of Osama Bin Laden. I am glad for all the families who lost loved ones on that September day. I'm glad for all the service men and women - and their families - who have served, fought and sacrificed to bring him to justice. And I am glad for my Mike.
And, deep in my "mother heart" I am acutely aware that I will never, ever get over my son going off to war. I am forever changed.
~Tricia
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Reverential Respect?
Lately, I've heard the use of the phrase "reverential respect" when people are attempting to describe their "fear" of the Lord. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not enough! I have reverential respect for a number of people. I would say I have that for several preachers and pastors that I know. I would describe my feelings as reverential respect for the president, for our state officials and lawmakers. But the Lord, God Almighty? Reverential respect? Are you kidding me? Nah. I have fear. Outright, undeniable, indescribable, bone-chilling fear. I don't have a leg to stand on in His presence, and neither does anyone else.
Daniel, that great prophet who was described by God, Himself, as one who was beloved and righteous, quaked in fear before the presence of just the angel of the Lord. In Daniel chapter 10, Daniel describes himself as "without strength" and "trembling" and "vigor turned to frailty"......fear. He feared this angel of the Lord - and that was just an angel of the Lord, not the Lord, God Almighty Himself! Daniel was without strength until the angel actually touched him and that touch strengthened him. Read Daniel chapter 10 and makes notes about Daniel's responses.
We want to talk about and dwell on the love of God - after all, He loved us enough to send His only Son to die for us. However, He sent Christ to die because that was the only satisfaction for His holiness. There was no other way to appease Him for our sin. Not only did He show mercy by giving us a Solution for our sin, He sacrificed Himself to make that Solution a reality for us. Mercy. Love. Compassion. Grace. Salvation. He is the Author of it all. Reverential respect does not do it justice. The only One Who is able to justify us requires much, much more than reverential respect.
What if He came to your house today? What if the Lord, God Almighty stopped you on your way somewhere? What if He came to your job? Don't expect me to believe that you'd be swooning with reverential respect.......ah, no. You'd be prostrate on your face in fear, without a leg to stand on, trembling, quaking, hoping beyond hope that you could gather the strength to run and hide......
...............until He touches you.
Even then, reverential respect doesn't do it justice.
The fear is turned to awe ................and we are silent from a mix of fear and awe and absolute wonder. Nah, I see no reverential respect here. That phrase minimizes His holy righteousness and that has repercussions that no one can live with.
~Tricia
Daniel, that great prophet who was described by God, Himself, as one who was beloved and righteous, quaked in fear before the presence of just the angel of the Lord. In Daniel chapter 10, Daniel describes himself as "without strength" and "trembling" and "vigor turned to frailty"......fear. He feared this angel of the Lord - and that was just an angel of the Lord, not the Lord, God Almighty Himself! Daniel was without strength until the angel actually touched him and that touch strengthened him. Read Daniel chapter 10 and makes notes about Daniel's responses.
We want to talk about and dwell on the love of God - after all, He loved us enough to send His only Son to die for us. However, He sent Christ to die because that was the only satisfaction for His holiness. There was no other way to appease Him for our sin. Not only did He show mercy by giving us a Solution for our sin, He sacrificed Himself to make that Solution a reality for us. Mercy. Love. Compassion. Grace. Salvation. He is the Author of it all. Reverential respect does not do it justice. The only One Who is able to justify us requires much, much more than reverential respect.
What if He came to your house today? What if the Lord, God Almighty stopped you on your way somewhere? What if He came to your job? Don't expect me to believe that you'd be swooning with reverential respect.......ah, no. You'd be prostrate on your face in fear, without a leg to stand on, trembling, quaking, hoping beyond hope that you could gather the strength to run and hide......
...............until He touches you.
Even then, reverential respect doesn't do it justice.
The fear is turned to awe ................and we are silent from a mix of fear and awe and absolute wonder. Nah, I see no reverential respect here. That phrase minimizes His holy righteousness and that has repercussions that no one can live with.
~Tricia
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Where's The Meat?
Give me meat to chew. The meat of the Word of God. Hebrews 5:14 says, "But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil." "Strong meat" literally translates "solid food." We know that babies need milk and spiritual babies need the "sincere milk of the Word" as stated in I Peter 2:2. But, once we grow to a certain point, we need meat, not just milk, to continue healthy growth.
For the most part, women's event speakers are lacking meat. I've attended these events, whether it be a Mother/Daughter banquet at church, a workshop at a conference or an event designed and arranged just for women, such as a rally or seminar. These events are geared toward women, but they often miss the mark when it comes to meeting the real needs of women. I've been struggling with these events and have mostly avoided them for lack of substance in the content. Now, when I do go to a conference, I generally choose the same workshops and lectures as my husband, instead of the ones geared toward women, because the men's speakers have meat in their content. I've never seen men in the women's workshops, by the way.
Women's needs are not specified in Scripture to be any different from men's needs. We ALL need the Gospel of God. We ALL need a Redeemer. We ALL need the whole council of God by the preaching of the Word. Some might argue that women think differently than men, therefore, our needs aren't the same. But, God does not specify a different type of teaching for women than men. The Word of God is sufficient to us all, regardless of our gender, place in life, etc.
It's hard to write about this because women's events are very prominent, women's "Bible" study books are very prominent and women speakers at women's events are very prominent. But, they have taken on what I believe is a dangerous practice and our women are starving. But, they don't have to be starving. The solution is at our fingertips.
Identifying the Problem
In order to solve the problem, we first have to specifically identify it. I see two main issues:
1. Women generally address the perceived felt needs of their audience. In doing this, they fail to present the Word of God as It is written, but they attempt to "help" women by making the Word fit their agenda. One fault with this approach is that the only help to any woman is the Word of God, yet it is essentially being "set aside" for the convenience of the speaker so that she can address felt needs. We don't know the heart needs of the women in our audiences, but the Holy Spirit of God does . When we teach His Word the way He intends - as it is written - then the needs of every woman listening will be met because the Word is alive, and powerful to do so. Our words are not. God's Words are. It's that simple.
Another fault with this approach of addressing felt needs shows lack of confidence in God's Word. If I think that I can take God's Word and improve upon it by taking it out of context, using it to tell women what they should do, think, say or feel, and twist it in any way to fit my own agenda, I have a worse problem than any of my listeners. I would be far better off sitting down, shutting up and allowing my listeners read the Word on their own. Then at least my empty, hollow noise won't block out what God is trying to say.
2. Women generally focus on application during their talks. This is a huge mistake because the application of the Word of God is not our job....it is the job of the Holy Spirit of God. Our job is to present the Truth as it is given to us in the Word. The rest - what He does with His Word in the hearts of the hearers - is His business and He will see to it in His timing. This, again, comes back to confidence in the Word of God and in the Holy Spirit to do what He has promised He would do.
Is this happening because women are treated as an afterthought? Are they treated as secondary to the men, thus the importance of their doctrinal understanding is secondary? Historically, women didn't used to go to seminary; that was a man's world. Have we allowed ourselves to be put in a secondary position, which has led to compromise? This trend could be a product of its own environment, no doubt, but if we sit back and let it happen, we are just as responsible as those who plan events and put women on the back burner while planning! If, indeed, that is what is taking place.
Regardless of why or how it's happening, the lack of spiritual depth and Scriptural Truth at women's events is not good for women. We need the meat of the Word of God, not the fluff & stuff of modernism, secular humanism and the result of catering to felt needs. In Scripture, we find many examples of women who were very grounded in their faith, who did not settle for fluff & stuff and who were leaders in doctrine.
Look at Priscilla in Acts 18. She, along with her husband, corrected Apollos in his doctrinal errors and he took it from her (them) and went on to become a great, eloquent preacher, reaching many with the gospel. Priscilla was grounded in her faith, not filled with emotionally-charged fluff & stuff that had her trying so hard to live for the Lord. Her doctrine allowed her - rather, caused her - to live for the Lord and she was grounded enough to recognize error. She fit our starting verse well because she had had her faith exercised enough to discern good and evil. She not only recognized it, she acted upon it so as to keep the doctrines of our Lord and Savior pure. Priscilla did not have time for fluff & stuff.
The solution:
Women need to stop being afraid of doctrine and, instead, stand firm on the doctrines for which our Savior died. In my experience, doctrine has been a forbidden topic of discussion among many women. They simply don't want to discuss doctrine because they feel it's controversial. Well, it certainly is controversial when a person's doctrine does not line up with Scripture! The solution is not to avoid doctrine; the solution is to make our doctrine front and center of our focus, our message, our reason for being. He did not die for fluff & stuff.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Bold Faith
I've been thinking about the bold faith of a friend of mine recently and every single time I think about it, I'm even more amazed. This friend of mine purposely provokes people to think about Jesus Christ. He's relentless; he provokes people ON PURPOSE! He said to me once, "Oh, I've been provoking my brother-in-law with the Gospel and I will keep on provoking him." Can you imagine? He's not from the US, so I have to wonder if that's why he's so bold. In his country, is boldness more required? Or is it a case of reception, i.e. how he's received? Do people condemn him, start rumors about him, shun him, or lie about him because of his boldness? In the US, that's what often happens when we speak boldly about the Gospel and provoke anyone. It has happened to me and I wasn't even purposely provoking anyone!
Here in the US, we don't provoke people. Oh, a preacher might - from his pulpit. My husband has had people walk out on his preaching more than once because of his bold, direct message. Yet, he continues to preach the whole council of God, with or without the hearers' approval. But, as a general rule, the vast majority of the Christians I know don't purposely provoke people. When people don't receive our message, we tend to tone it down to make it more palatable.
The main reason we don't provoke people seems to be fear. We fear rejection. We fear being labeled. We fear losing a relationship. We fear. Ok, I get fear. Fear runs rampant. We tolerate even heresy within the church because of fear. Is our fear bigger than our burden? Oh, I hope not!
Most people don't think there's heresy within the church. I see it all the time, however. I see it when a preacher promotes a political agenda rather than a Gospel agenda. I see it when major doctrinal heresy is tolerated in the church in the name of "Christian" love. If we first love Christ, we will not tolerate or allow false doctrine within the church. We will stand against it, not openly tolerate it. Is it hard to speak out? As my fellow Minnesotans would say, "You betcha!" But, as hard as it is, it's necessary for the Gospel message to get out and remain pure.
I recall once when a lady in a Sunday School class stated, as part of a discussion, "Well, it doesn't have to be all about Jesus all the time!" I was shocked at a statement like that, but didn't say anything.....(fear). A couple of weeks later, she repeated the same thing and that time, I did not stay quiet.
I said, "Yes, it is all about Jesus, all the time. If it isn't, we can all just go home now." The lady who spoke out was not happy with me. My boldness for pure doctrine cost me that relationship; she walked away. So be it. Another time, a lady stood up and said, "We need to set aside the Word of God and love one another." At the time, I said nothing, but the next morning, I called her on the phone to clarify what she said. I thought certainly she didn't realize what she had just said, or that I had surely heard wrong. Well, not only did she reiterate what she said the night before, she got even bolder about it! So, I knew where she stood.......she set aside God's Word. Was I bold for calling her on it? You betcha! Did I have a choice? I don't think so. Does someone who truly knows Jesus Christ openly and intentionally set aside His Word? Oh, my. She desperately needs the Gospel.
So, that is why I will continue to be bold. Plus, on the day when I meet Him face to face, I won't be ashamed - at least of that. I truly admire my bold friend and hope that I can follow his example and step it up.
~Tricia
Here in the US, we don't provoke people. Oh, a preacher might - from his pulpit. My husband has had people walk out on his preaching more than once because of his bold, direct message. Yet, he continues to preach the whole council of God, with or without the hearers' approval. But, as a general rule, the vast majority of the Christians I know don't purposely provoke people. When people don't receive our message, we tend to tone it down to make it more palatable.
The main reason we don't provoke people seems to be fear. We fear rejection. We fear being labeled. We fear losing a relationship. We fear. Ok, I get fear. Fear runs rampant. We tolerate even heresy within the church because of fear. Is our fear bigger than our burden? Oh, I hope not!
Most people don't think there's heresy within the church. I see it all the time, however. I see it when a preacher promotes a political agenda rather than a Gospel agenda. I see it when major doctrinal heresy is tolerated in the church in the name of "Christian" love. If we first love Christ, we will not tolerate or allow false doctrine within the church. We will stand against it, not openly tolerate it. Is it hard to speak out? As my fellow Minnesotans would say, "You betcha!" But, as hard as it is, it's necessary for the Gospel message to get out and remain pure.
I recall once when a lady in a Sunday School class stated, as part of a discussion, "Well, it doesn't have to be all about Jesus all the time!" I was shocked at a statement like that, but didn't say anything.....(fear). A couple of weeks later, she repeated the same thing and that time, I did not stay quiet.
I said, "Yes, it is all about Jesus, all the time. If it isn't, we can all just go home now." The lady who spoke out was not happy with me. My boldness for pure doctrine cost me that relationship; she walked away. So be it. Another time, a lady stood up and said, "We need to set aside the Word of God and love one another." At the time, I said nothing, but the next morning, I called her on the phone to clarify what she said. I thought certainly she didn't realize what she had just said, or that I had surely heard wrong. Well, not only did she reiterate what she said the night before, she got even bolder about it! So, I knew where she stood.......she set aside God's Word. Was I bold for calling her on it? You betcha! Did I have a choice? I don't think so. Does someone who truly knows Jesus Christ openly and intentionally set aside His Word? Oh, my. She desperately needs the Gospel.
So, that is why I will continue to be bold. Plus, on the day when I meet Him face to face, I won't be ashamed - at least of that. I truly admire my bold friend and hope that I can follow his example and step it up.
~Tricia
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