Get Outta My Church!

We had attended a new church for a couple months and were initially glad to find a church that seemed to preach the Truth. It has been a difficult journey since moving to MD over five years ago. Even conservative Baptist churches are not preaching the Word; they are steeped in Secular Humanism.

So, we found this little church in a tight neighborhood and the "senior pastor" preached mostly expository messages. He veered off into opinion occasionally, but I've learned to tune that out. We even said "Amen" aloud a couple times. The people were friendly, a couple women even hugged me. They seemed sincere. They did not make announcements or utilize a bulletin of any sort, so we never felt we knew what was going on other than Sunday morning. I thought that was strange.

One Sunday, we got there to find that the "senior pastor" was out of town and his son, the "assistant pastor" would be preaching. This son is very green and clearly needs some homiletics training. But, we aren't going to cause a fuss over an ill-experienced preacher who is still learning to preach. We all start somewhere. However, one thing he said in his sermon struck a sour cord with me, but it had nothing to do with God's Word or God at all. He said our military men and women go into battle thinking they could never die; that they think it could never happen to them. He said they just go into battle with a flippant attitude. I shifted in my chair. My son had gone into battle....and before he did, he had to sign over power of attorney to us. He knew what could happen to him. He wasn't flippant.

Afterward, when this young man and his wife were greeting us at the door, I said - in passing, not as a confrontation - that our military men and women go into battle fully aware of what could happen to them.....but they go anyway. He said, "Oh, sure, sure.....yeah."

A few weeks later, the son preached again. This time, he butchered James 1, completely misrepresenting the passage and in a very damaging way. We felt bad for the congregation. At the door, as he shook his hand, my husband invited the young man to take a second look at James 1, read it over slowly and simply take a second look. Who would reject an invitation to take a second look at a passage of Scripture? Humility requires that we all respond positively to such an invitation.

However, the next day, my husband got an email from the "senior pastor" telling us that since David and I both met his son with opposition, and because he read my blog, we were no longer welcome to attend his church.

Now, because of red flags in their teachings and practices I was already seeing, I, personally, had already realized I could never put my full heart into that ministry. But, his reasons for kicking us out make no sense.

My threefold rebuttal:

Disagreeing with someone with zero military experience about the mindset of our military men and women is not opposition, it's education. Clearly, this kid is not teachable. Unteachable people are not qualified to preach/teach.

Inviting someone to take a second look at a passage of Scripture is not opposition, it's an act of love.

And concerning my blog, well, all I can say is, dude, you're not the first pastor I've scared off and it's highly likely you won't be the last.

I firmly believe every person who presents God's Word in any way, shape or form must be up for questioning. I will question everyone. Never one time did Jesus admonish someone not to question Him.

Any pastor who is not open to questioning, but frames any question or comment (and even invitations to look more closely at the Word) as "opposition" is not qualified to be in any pulpit.

I suspect - and this is pure speculation on my part - that this pastor is too afraid that the women in his congregation might find out they can have independent thoughts outside of their husbands' and pastors' control and he will have none of that. Every cult has to subdue the women at all times.

Carry on, little cult, carry on. One day you will know the truth.
~Tricia

Satan Gotcha Good, Church, Real Good

My ebook, The Poverty of Patriarchy, takes a look at the poverty (and resulting chaos) created by patriarchy. Despite what you've been taught in your church, patriarchy is not a Biblically condoned system of operation. When Jesus came, He blew patriarchy out of the water, yet the vast majority of evangelical churches retain it as though it's some badge of godliness that we should never abandon. And, those same evangelicals, instead of listening to someone with an opposing view, condemn us, call us liberals and limit their contact with us. They show no compassion or willingness to listen to something different than what they have been brought up to believe.

Of all things I've observed through encounters with these evangelical leaders, their lack of compassion speaks the loudest to me. They are immediately defensive and seem to be desperate to share their view at the expense of silencing mine. This experience has taught me that a lack of compassion is a first indicator of a lack of fellowship with Christ. These evangelicals are not all they are cracked up to be if they display a lack of compassion. They need to re-examine their relationship with Jesus and that requires getting down off their high horse.

This was especially evident to me when I revealed how an upsetting encounter with a janitor in the ladies room at First Baptist Church, Laurel, MD happened. You can read what happened here. I was met with anger, denial, threats, all kinds of name calling and many other ungodly responses from so-called Christians. But, there was one exception....one young man, when he heard about it from one of my sons, immediately said, "Is your mom ok?" He was the sole person, outside my family and true friends, who showed compassion. Even church leadership said, "That doesn't sound like Fitz." (The current pastor of that church did apologize, but as soon as the apology came out of his mouth, his wife negated it, saying I was "hurting the church." Um, no, Fitz is hurting the church and you all are by allowing him to continue to burst into the ladies room unannounced.)

That being said, it occurred to me this weekend that my book already needs a revision and update because I saw another missing avenue caused by patriarchy and I need to add this to the book. Billy Graham's funeral was broadcast over Facebook Live (and I'm sure other venues), so I was able to watch a portion of it. I heard all his kids give their testimonies of their father and one of his daughters said her resolve to preach the gospel wherever she went was strengthened due to her father's death.

As soon as I heard her say that, I realized that no evangelical church would dare let her go in their midst and preach the gospel. This was a stunning thought. Here is someone obviously moved and changed by the power of Jesus Christ, yet she would be prevented from sharing that gospel for one reason and one reason only: she's a woman.

Has the evangelical church as a whole limited the spread of the gospel by silencing their women and only allowing them to serve in a secondary role? I would not want to be guilty of this when I meet my Maker. Oh, my, I shudder to think of it.

For this reason alone, evangelical churches might want to revisit the Scriptures and discover for themselves that patriarchy is not God's intended way. Most churches depend more on tradition than Scriptural teaching when it comes to this issue. But, I repeat, Jesus blew patriarchy out of the water and we'd be wise to do the same.

Is patriarchy hindering the spread of the gospel? I believe it is. To allow half the followers of Christ to remain silenced is to hinder the spread of the gospel and that is not something I'm willing to be guilty of.

Satan gotcha good on this one, church, real good.

~Tricia

The Cat Was Out of Food

So, this morning, our cat, Oliver, was out of food. I saw a piece of broccoli on the floor next to a dish of milk. I commented to my daughter that she was being really nice to Oliver by giving him milk. That is not an everyday thing. She told me he was out of food. Now, I knew he was low on food, but I plan to go grocery shopping tomorrow and thought his food would last another day. I was wrong. He had eaten it all.

So, I ran into the grocery store after dropping my daughter off at her job, which happens to be at that same grocery store, and I bought a big bag of cat food.

Upon getting home, I put the bag down just inside the door so I could put my keys on the shelf where they belong, kick off my shoes and put my wallet and sunglasses away. Oliver went berzerk over that bag of cat food. He kept whining around it, then walking over to the basement door, trying to lead me to the basement where his food dish is kept. Because it takes a minute to put things away and take off my shoes, things were not moving fast enough for him and he repeated his actions several times before I finally picked up the bag and started to follow him downstairs.

At the bottom of the stairs is our home office and my craft space. His food dish is behind the stairs. I stopped at my craft desk to cut the bag of cat food open and Oliver almost had a heart attack. He could not believe I had stopped and had not gone directly to his food dish. He circled around me and the chair the bag of food was on, then kept trying to lead me to his food dish. Well, it takes a few seconds to cut the bag open, but he had no tolerance for what he seemed to think was my snail's pace.

When I cut the bag open, he nearly jumped out of his skin because the smell was so much stronger. After a few short meows, he seemed relieved that I was finally picking up the opened bag and walking over to his dish. As soon as I poured some of the food into his dish, he attacked it with gusto, making it spill over the sides and make a mess. He didn't care. He acted as though he was starving to death and could not get enough food fast enough.

Literally two minutes later, he was lounging around upstairs like all was right with his world again.

Indeed.

This is exactly how I feel right now about the lack of expository preaching we're finding in our search for a church home. We are working to plant a church, but, in the meantime we need a church home. We have had a very hard time finding a church that is preaching the Word. They are standing up in their pulpits putting cold broccoli and milk on the floor while we are starving for good, chewable food that will feed our souls.

We've heard preachers actually preach out of someone's book, not the Bible. We've seen preachers not even take a Bible into their pulpits. We've heard preachers say things like, "Jesus is a replica of God. If you put God in the copy machine, Jesus will come out the other end." (No, no....Jesus IS God, not a replica of God.) We've heard preachers take a passage of Scripture completely out of context to fit their point.

This is exhausting.
We are in a famine.

Let me tell you preachers something. I am not interested in what you think or feel about the Bible. I am interested in what God says in His Word. He manifests His Word through preaching, but preaching is not defined by what you want it to be. Preaching is expounding what God has said, not what you think about what God has said. Expository preaching is the only real type of preaching. If it's not expository, it's not preaching; it's just a speech.

I can relate to Oliver.
We will continue our quest to find a church that is really preaching the Word.
~Tricia

I'm Not There for You

Recently, I've seen a good number of articles and blog posts about why certain people are no longer going to church. Most of the reasons have to do with outside influence. Many are discouraged because they see hypocrites in the church. Many don't feel that others in the church are being "real," especially if they worship in what has become known as western traditional worship. Others forsake church because they don't feel the church meets their needs or the needs of their children and family. Still others are trying to get away from all tradition and not allow their faith to be put into a box of expectation which they feel the church represents. And, finally, some stop going to church because they are busy judging whether or not we (those of us who are there) are real or not in our faith.

I go to church. Ever since I was redeemed by the blood of Christ, I have gone to church. But, I'm not there for you.. I'm not there for me, either. I'm there for Him. He said not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together. (Hebrews 10:25)

I go to church for God, not for you. I'm there out of obedience, even when I don't feel like it. And, yes, there are times I don't feel like it. Believe me, I've been a pastor's wife for more than 30 years, I've seen and heard it all and there have been times I did not want to go because of what people were doing/saying. But, I went even at those times because I didn't go for them.

It's good and right to not go to a church that preaches or teaches a false doctrine, but that can't be used as an excuse to forsake church altogether. Simply find a church that does teach and preach sound doctrine. They are out there. Make the doctrines of Truth your priority in finding a church, not what programs they may or may not have.

It's good and right to go to church out of simple obedience. There's power and strength in doing the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing. Simple obedience can't be underestimated. In I Samuel 15, we read of King Saul's disobedience and God's rejection of him as king as a result. Samuel said to Saul, "To obey is better than sacrifice..." Read that account. We clearly see God's emphasis on obedience. Saul's reasoning behind his own rebellion was because he feared the people more than he listened to God, by his own admission. (verse 24)

Don't go for others. Don't go for yourself. Go for God. Go because He said to go. Go because the church is His vehicle to spread the gospel. (Matthew 16:18) Go because He has chosen the foolishness of preaching (the message preached) to save them that believe (I Corinthians 1:21).

~Tricia

My Church and Me

This month marks 30 years that I have been a pastor's wife. To me, this is not an occupation, but rather a result of my husband's call to the ministry. If he's called to be a pastor, I'm going to be a pastor's wife. Pretty simple.

Kudos to him - 30 faithful years in pastoral ministry! He was pastor of  four different churches and planted three others.

Despite the confusion I always felt from the expectations of those around me as a pastor's wife, my role in all this has been to be his wife, the mother of his children and the person God wants me to be. The only expectations I perceive I need to fulfill are first God's, then my husband's.

I was not raised in a Christian home, far from it, so I never had a pastor in my life, let alone his wife. I did go to church as a teenager for a couple of years, but going to be with my sisters and friends, then laughing in the back row, hardly qualifies me as a church-goer. When I did hear and receive the Gospel, at 18 years of age, I joined a church shortly thereafter....and had a pastor. His wife was always sweet and kind to me, but I had no expectations of her. This is why people's expectations of me, as a pastor's wife, have been so confusing.

Last Friday, Kevin T. Bauder of Central Seminary, wrote a blog post on In The Nick of Time that I can't stop thinking about. It captured my whys; my reasons for going to church, for being so committed to church, for my service in the church, etc.

Because my position as a pastor's wife is not my motivation for anything I do in the church, this blog post really resonated with me. Let me highlight a few things he said that were especially meaningful to me:

"All church members submit themselves to the discipline of their church, which means that they submit themselves mutually to one another. They swear (for the covenant is an oath) that they will watch over one another, care for one another, and hold one another accountable for both private and corporate spirituality."

"A church is not a social club. It is a covenanted body. People should never join a church casually or with mental caveats about what they will do if things do not go their way in the church. Church membership should be viewed less like a date and more like a marriage in the respect that both marriage and church membership begin with a vow before God. There is something deeply immoral about church-hopping, just as there is something disturbing about those believers who wish to attend a church while refusing the commitments of membership."

"A church is a community. Church members cannot expect to fulfill their covenant obligations if they only meet each other during the public assemblies. The nature of their mutual duties requires that they develop relationships that go far beyond the gatherings of the church. They must experience a level of transparency and trust that comes only with knowing one another well."

"Churches pride themselves on attracting a number of attendees that would have been inconceivable in the past. Anonymity is endemic to the situation. We are beset with a sense that our personal lives are nobody else’s business, and that word nobody includes the fellow members of our churches.

Nothing could be more deadly to church life."

"A church has to do more than to foster special-interest groups (such as a youth group, a sportsmen’s group, a mothers-of-preschoolers group, a quilting circle, etc.). It also has to do more than assign members to small-group studies. While these activities may be a part of the solution, by themselves they cannot do more than to produce a congregation of cliques. In a large church filled with members who are unknown to one another, such activities are better than nothing, but they are not enough. They will not produce a body in which the members are genuinely fulfilling their covenant obligations to one another."

I urge you to read the entire blog post, and the follow-up which is to come this Friday. 

I, personally, do what I do in the church out of a deep love and debt to my Savior and out of obedience to Him.....not because I'm a pastor's wife. My love for the Savior and obedience to Him drives all that I do, in the church and outside the church. Who would want it to be different? This is the ultimate motivation. From this, we learn about His sovereignty, about how trusting Him is a show-piece of our faith, an opportunity for our faith to be seen, not just heard. When times are tough, this will shine through. It will be made manifest.

Praise be.

~Tricia