No One Would Listen

Much to my relief, there is finally an article spelling out what we suspected, but couldn't prove, about a former pastor in Austin, MN. We tried to stop him. We had questions about this man and we tried to get local and statewide investigations going, to no avail. They laughed in our faces and praised and defended this pedophile to our faces. Shame on them.

It's news now. Read the article here.

No one would listen.

~Tricia

Hang Up Your Dishrag and Pick Up Your Bible

I am struck by Mary's behavior in her sister, Martha's, home. Luke 10:38-42 describes a scene that most people who have ever read the Bible are familiar with. Jesus, along with a number of His disciples, was traveling and came to the home of Martha. Her sister, Mary, was also there and the Scriptures tell us that Mary sat at Jesus' feet and heard His Word. Martha, however, was distracted with much serving. No doubt she was a good hostess, wanting to make sure all her guests were fed and taken care of.

We think this is necessary. As a veteran hostess, I have served hundreds in our different homes over the years. I love entertaining, cooking, preparing for guests and making their stay in our home as comfortable and pleasant as I can.

I have observed that, in the church and in Christian circles, women are often relegated to the kitchen to prepare, serve and clean up while men often enjoy fellowship around the Word of God. I attended a pastors & wives fellowship a few years ago. Before going, I was told by the hostess that the women generally stayed in the kitchen, talking, while the men studied a specific doctrine. My interest was piqued at what the men might be studying and I asked her for more information. She didn't know, but said that the women don't attend those sessions.

When I got to the meeting, I saw an outline of the day's study and really wanted to sit in and learn. So, when things started, I walked to the men's meeting with my husband. The hostess told me, again, that the women usually stayed in the kitchen and talked, then helped put out lunch. I honestly couldn't bring myself to stay in the kitchen. While I felt a little bad for her, I ended up leaving her in the kitchen alone, wishing she would join us in the study.

The study was excellent! It was an expository study, complete with an exegetical guide that we all got copies of. None of the men seemed to think it strange that I was there with them, and, in fact, there was another woman there, too. I attended several more of these meetings, and by the 3rd one I attended, all the women were sitting in on the sessions rather than hanging out in the kitchen. Score! Amazingly, lunch was still served and everyone ate and was satisfied.

Mary sat at Jesus' feet, learning from Him. Even at Martha's pleas to do so, Jesus did not tell Mary to get up and help. What He did say is surprising to our culture. He said that Mary had chosen "that good part which will not be taken away from her."

As a woman, I do not feel that my place is in the kitchen. I feel that my place is at the feet of Jesus, learning of Him and teaching others of Him. Even as a hostess, I have intentionally tried to ease the preparation of food so as not to miss out on opportunities to learn of Jesus from others, or participate in a study. Jesus said this is "the good part" and that it "can't be taken away" from us.

Why do we women often allow this to be taken away from us? We need to hang up our dishrags and pick up our Bibles and take a stand against traditional roles that exclude us from deep Bible study and participation. You have permission from the King, Himself. You have His approval to stop being sidelined when it comes to deep Bible study. Mary not only had His approval, but His praise. Imagine being praised by the Savior, Himself.

I dare say that if Jesus came to my house in the flesh, I would have someone order take-out because I would not leave His side long enough to even make a phone call to place the order, let alone cook something. I don't want to miss a word.

~Tricia

My Surprising Shingles Story

I had heard all the horror stories of shingles. I'd listened to the TV commercials touting the importance of the shingles vaccine. I'd heard friends and relatives talk about how bad shingles was, that they wouldn't wish it on their worst enemy, that their life was completely altered by its presence.

Then an unusual pain started in my left side, just above my waistline. Since my doctor was not available, I went to a walk-in clinic. There, after spending three minutes and $95, I was told I'd pulled a muscle. I was sent home with a prescription for a muscle relaxer. After three days of taking that at night, my pain was gone. I went on with life; traveling to Atlanta, taking care of my family, etc. This was a busy summer.

After two weeks in Atlanta to welcome my 3rd grandchild, I came home and was as busy as ever. Then, 10 days after I got home, that pain in my left side came back. This time it was worse because it seemed to wrap itself around my upper torso and hurt like crazy, squeezing me hard. I went to my chiropractor, told him I'd pulled a muscle, that it had gotten better, then worse. He did his exam and concluded that not only was a muscle out of whack, but the nerve traveling around my upper torso was inflamed, greatly.

Inflamed nerves that wrap around an area = shingles.

Ugh. I braced myself for the worst. The pain was bad, but not something I would define as horrible. It was not what I'd expected. Maybe I have a high tolerance for pain; I did give birth to eight people. A few days after that chiropractic visit, I noticed a few little spots on my skin around that nerve pain. Ah, the telltale shingles rash! What was I to do? I dreaded this with a passion. I'd been told the rash is worse than the pain. I'd already altered my wardrobe to wear only loose-fitting clothes that did not bind. I'd already switched to cool showers because hot water caused such bad pain. How was I going to shower at all with hot, horrid blisters around my middle? How was I going to keep up the family schedule with my husband's long work hours and the kids' appointments?

The day after the spots appeared, they began to itch terribly. I was filled with dread, again. Ugh. I began to research how to treat shingles at home. Not having insurance makes people do all kinds of things to avoid the expense of going to the doctor. I'd already spent $95 at the doc's and a few at the pharmacy.

I discovered that there were things I could do to lessen the symptoms of shingles. I began to do those things immediately, that very day, which were really just abrupt dietary changes. The very next day, the itchy spots began to fade. They did not break out into blisters, but the area remained red and sensitive. Within a few days, the spots had completely dried up, the itching stopped and they faded away. The pain persisted, but the spots never developed into a rash or blisters.

It has been  a couple of months since my symptoms first appeared and, while I still have some pain, I believe I am over the worst of it.

I was very surprised at how effective my actions against the full effects of shingles were. I was also surprised that I'd never heard of these actions; that no one I'd ever talked to had mentioned that there were things a person could do to control the symptoms of shingles. I had heard many people's shingles stories and they were all horrid. I found out through this personal experience that shingles does not have to be so horrid. So, I wanted to share my actions here in hopes that someone else who might be facing shingles can have a milder case than they might think they can.

What I learned:

Shingles is part of the Herpes virus.
The Herpes virus thrives in a weakened immune system.
The Herpes family of viruses is affected by a person's L-Arginine to L-Lysine ratio. These are amino acids that are found in the human body and come from foods. There has to be a greater L-Arginine level for shingles to survive. Therefore, a diet higher in L-Lysine helps prohibit the virus's effects.

Foods high in L-Lysine....and thus should be eaten often.....are:
Meat
Fish
Dairy
Eggs
Cheese
Apples
Pears
Pineapple
Apricots
Avocado
Green Beans
Asparagus

Foods higher in L-Arginine.....and thus avoided....are:

Tomatoes
Wheat germ
Brussels Sprouts
Cashews
Grapes
Pumpkin seeds
Pecans
Blackberries
Blueberries
Peanuts
Chocolate
Sugars

I immediately altered my diet to include more of the top list and avoid all things on the bottom list.
It worked!
Other things I did:

Put ice on the pain several times a day.
Wore loose-fitting clothing that does not bind (still doing this one).
Took cool showers.
Saw my chiropractor regularly (weekly) as balance in the spine helps so much.
Sleep. I slept in as much as I could and took naps when able.
Ibuprofen.

I am now able to eat a little tomato and not have effects, as well as a little chocolate. Avoiding tomatoes during the month of August was hard since they are so fresh!

I had always thought shingles was something that, if I got it, I had no choice but to take it however it came. I thought I had to sit back and let it hit me. I had never heard of anyone having a more positive experience with shingles. People younger than myself have had it with horrible symptoms that lasted a very long time.

Maybe I was just fortunate enough to have a mild case. I do have a tremendous capacity for recovery and that must have helped. My advice to shingles sufferers is to take these dietary changes seriously and follow them faithfully. They make all the difference. As soon as I learned about them, I abruptly changed my diet and my results were very fast.

Note my other actions and see which ones you can manage.
I do hope you never get shingles.
I do hope that if you do get shingles,you heed this advice or research on your own to find solutions. You do not have to take what shingles has to offer.
You can take action.
This is just my story. This is what happened to me. I'm not saying this can happen to everyone in the same way, but I wanted to share my story because I am proof that there are shingles stories that are not so horrid. There are things we can do to help create a mild case; at least this worked for me.
~Tricia

Find Some Women, Plant a Church

I know of no one who would argue that the Apostle Paul was the most successful church planter who ever lived. After his life was literally turned upside down on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), he was baptized and went on to plant multiple churches all over Asia and Europe. There is, of course, much, much more to his story, but that's for another blog post.

What did he do when he planted churches? Certainly his methods were unconventional to the culture of his day, but I think they would also be considered unconventional today in western culture. The first thing Paul did in Philippi was go to where the women were (Acts 16). This was no accident. Verse 13 tells us they went to the riverside where prayer was customarily made and spoke with the women who met there. They, Paul and the others with him, knew women met there, it was customary, yet they went there intentionally and first.

He planted his church with women. The first European convert was Lydia, a wealthy woman who operated her own lucrative business selling purple fabric. Lydia was saved, then baptized, as was her household. No husband is ever mentioned. Lydia went on to host Paul and his entourage in her home. This indicates she had a house big enough to host them, needed no one's permission or approval and was very much in charge of herself and all that she had.

I know some men who would pass this opportunity by simply because they would not talk to women at a riverside or anywhere else, without husbands present. These men I know certainly wouldn't use any resources of any women to plant a church, much less a woman's input.  Modern church planters do not generally talk to women first in order to plant a church. I know some church planters and they are all men and they are working with only men.  But, Paul and his fellow disciples often went to the women first.

In Thessalonica, at the synagogue, Acts 17:4 tells us that some of them believed and "joined with Paul and Silas; and of the devout Greeks a great multitude, and of the chief women, not a few." (Emphasis mine) There were women and they were considered important, chief people of their town; leaders. And Paul had no problem working with them.

Women were very much involved in the planting of these new churches. They made a huge impact. 

So, do you want to plant a church? Find some women in a town of choice. Be sure, if you have a church planting committee, that women are serving on that committee  and are active workers, not just a quiet female presence.

Do like Paul did in Philippi and go to the women first, intentionally. I truly believe women might be the most overlooked resource for church planting today.

~Tricia

Poor Little Perpetrator

Bonhoeffer said, “Silence in the face of evil is itself evil. God will not hold us guiltless. Not to speak is to speak. Not to act is to act.”

When did the victim become the object of questioning in the church? I've seen this over and over again. Someone is victimized in the church and all eyes look to the perpetrator with a quest to understand why they would do what they are accused of doing. This happens while the victim is either told they need to forgive, or are ignored altogether. This is absolutely infuriating.

Let me give you some examples. These examples are based on real-life, true stories.

First, Sally's story: Fourteen-year-old Sally was molested by a man in the church during a youth event when no one was around for a few minutes. Sally reported this abuse to her mom and word got out when her family tried to get justice and prevent him from hurting someone else. People's responses went like this:

"Oh, I wonder what kind of childhood he had that would make him do that."
"He's always been nice to me."
"I've never seen him do a thing wrong!"
"He's served in this church for years!
"I can't picture him doing that."
"There must be some mistake."
"Sally must have done ......something."

And while all these people are busy taking the perpetrator's side with their words, Sally's life is destroyed, piece by piece. First, her perpetrator took her innocence and violated her. Second, her church family, those she should trust the most next to her own family, betrayed her by shedding doubt on her story in defending him. Third, sympathy for her was quickly minimized while a longing to show compassion for the perpetrator grew. Her family left that church and never went back. Years later, people still wonder why they won't go to that church.

Jack's story:  Ten year old Jack was molested in the men's room at church during the service when he went out to go to the bathroom. A few months later, Jack told his older brother. His brother told their parents. The parents told the pastor, who took it to the deacons. The deacons' response was:

"We need to handle this in a godly way; we need to make sure Mr. Perpetrator has a chance to repent."
"We need to make sure Jack is willing to forgive."
"We need to pray and give Mr. Perpetrator the benefit of the doubt. After all, he's served in this church for decades."
"Jack has made a little trouble; his Sunday School teacher said he often doesn't pay attention."
"Does Jack hang out with those other boys who cause trouble?"
"Jack's mom seems to be seeking revenge. We can't let that happen; we might have to confront her. She needs to be godly and forgive"

And Jack's life spirals out of control and gets no justice. He is told he has to forgive and Mr. Perpetrator is free to attack someone else.

Lois' story: The janitor walked in on Lois as she was using the ladies' room. Embarrassed, Lois quickly confronted him and told him to leave. He was belligerent and would not leave the ladies' room. Lois was shocked at the fact that he was in no way embarrassed or uncomfortable while in there with her and he made no move to leave. As a matter of fact, Lois ended up leaving first!

Upset, Lois called her husband, who told her she needed to inform the senior pastor that night. He happened to be in the building and she did inform him. While waiting for him, she informed the building security person, who called their supervisor. Able to hear her on the other end of the phone, Lois heard her say, "Oh, that doesn't sound like him."

While Lois was assured things would be dealt with that night, they were not, and a week later, the janitor walked into the ladies room again, with no warning. Lois watched from the foyer this time, since she no longer felt safe going into the ladies room. It wasn't until Lois spoke up about it again, and her husband intervened, that the leadership of the church finally made a policy about male janitors entering a ladies room.

As for Lois, she's heard "That doesn't sound like him" so many times from all levels of leadership in the church that she no longer trusts any of them. The janitor told the leadership that he apologized to Lois and they were satisfied with that. However, the janitor did not apologize to Lois, he lied to the leadership, and things were not followed up on. As a matter of fact, he smirks when he sees her. Lois has become disillusioned with her church. She does not feel safe using the ladies room unless there is a large crowd in the building.

Dear Church Leaders:  In cases of abuse, the victim is your priority, not the perpetrator!

Do not show sympathy to the perpetrator at the expense of concern for the victim.

Do not show compassion to the perpetrator while your victim cowers in a corner with no voice.

Abuse of all kinds is happening in the church. The three examples given in this blog are all true and represent the tiniest fraction of abuse I'm aware of, and I'm just one person! Too many people are not only showing more compassion to the abusers, they are turning a deaf ear to the victims, further victimizing them by shedding doubt on them and not speaking out against abuse.

I will not be silent about abuse I see. Whether it's blatant abuse like described above or a bunch of women ruining another person through gossip, I will speak out and I will not be silent about abuse.

Bonhoeffer was right.

~Tricia

Dem Dry Bones

What do you really know about your bones? We know we need our bones. we know our bones carry nutrients through their marrow. We know that marrow can be replaced, curing disease. We know that bones can be broken, then fixed. We know much more than this about bones. Did you know that dead, dry bones can live again?

God talked about bones in His Word. In Ezekiel 37:1-14, Ezekiel talks about being taken to the Valley of Bones where he saw many, many bones....and they were very dry. Not just dry; very dry.

Several years ago, one of our daughters was diagnosed with severe scoliosis. She had to wear a tight, form-fitted body brace 20 hours a day for an entire year. She became very adept at putting it on and pulling it tight enough by herself. She faithfully wore it as instructed by her doctors.  

At the end of the year of the brace, she was to face major surgery to repair the sharp curves in her spine. The bracing only served to stop the progression of the curves; surgery was inevitable to repair the curves or her life would be compromised, landing her in a wheelchair in the not-too-distant future. At the time of her surgery, the doctors had long, detailed meetings with us, and each other, to decide the right course of action. It was decided that two 18" titanium rods would be attached to her spine, after it was straightened (literally by hand) and the rods would be secured with screws, bolts and brackets. After the rods were secured, bone would be grafted over her spine and she would be sewn back up.

I had one question, "What bone is used for this grafting?" The doctor said they could take a 4" piece of bone from her hip - an action requiring additional surgery on the spot. OR, they could use cadaver bone.

Intrigued by this idea, I asked for an explanation. The doctor said there are warehouses holding cadaver bone from people who have donated their bones to medicine and they could use them for her procedure. I said, "But, what about the risk of rejection?" 

The doctor replied, "There is no risk of rejection. The bones are dry; they are dead. They have no living cells in them. They are very dry. Once we graft them onto her spine, they will live again. They will regenerate and grow in her as though they have always been her bones. As she grows, they will grow, and be strong and full of life again."

We chose the dry bones, avoiding the trauma of additional surgery for our daughter. She's fine now; her back is straight and she even got a little taller on the operating table. She has had no sign of rejection and her health is perfect.

They were dead bones.

They were very dry.

Just like the bones Ezekiel saw in the Valley of Bones. God had asked him, "Can these bones live?"  

Ezekiel was careful to answer only, "Oh, LORD God, you know." 

Dead. Dry. Bones.

While it is widely believed Ezekiel's experience was symbolic, the truth of the matter is, those dry, dead, very dry bones can live!

Dem Dry Bones came back to life and they are living now in my daughter. 

Talk about our bodies being fearfully and wonderfully made! 

Our God, Who can make dead, very dry bones live again, can surely solve the worst problem you have today.

~Tricia

Why I Don't Use SOAP

I don't use SOAP. I never have and I'm not about to start. SOAP is a popular acronym widely used in Bible study. It stands for

Scripture
Observation 
Application 
Prayer

The problem I have with SOAP is the application portion. This trips us humans up every time because we simply cannot apply the Scriptures to our lives. We can't; it's not our job. Every single time we do, we become built up with pride and that application portion becomes our all-in-all. We don't stop with the mirror, either, but we take what we've applied to our own lives and project that onto others.

The minute any Bible study becomes about our response, it is no longer about Jesus Christ. 

When it is no longer about Jesus Christ, it is no longer relevant. 

Here are a few reasons I won't use SOAP, or any other Bible study method that uses application as a step in its process:

1. Human application of Scripture falls through human filters. These filters are not inspired, making them dangerous. Every single cult that started from a religious standpoint, started as a result of someone applying Scripture out of context as a means to control others. This was done through a human filter. Jesus tells us to learn from Him (Matthew 11:29). He does not fit through human filters.

2. Human application is nothing more than behavior modification. Behavior modification is not of the heart, it's out of a human effort to be righteous. This goes against Scripture since Scripture says "there is none righteous, no not one." (Romans 3:10) Beware of behavior modification. Lots of people have behaved well all the way to Hell.

3. Human application leads to legalism. Legalism is not only dangerous in that it focuses solely on human behavior, it also leads to spiritual abuse. Every single time.

4. Human application is not about God. As soon as we take it upon ourselves to apply things the way we see them, we take God out of the picture. His Word does not need human application. If you become driven to share the gospel more, that is NOT because you are applying God's Word to your life, it is because His Holy Spirit is working in you to create that drive. When you find yourself responding in grace to something that might have made you mad in the past, that is not because you have applied God's Word to your life, it is because His grace is at work in you through His Word. It is all by Him, through Him and for Him.

5. Human application leads to guilt. As soon as a preacher says, "we should" or "you should" I tune out. I'm not interested in what he thinks I should or should not do. Not everyone is in the same place in life. Not everyone can live in the same way. I was at a ladies retreat one time when the speaker tried to lay guilt on us because she felt that some of us were not grateful enough to be there. She had decided that ungratefulness was the sin of the hour and railed on us to be more grateful and compared us to the grumbling children of Israel in an attempt to warn us of God's impending judgement upon us. But, she was totally wrong. I had been going through a rough time in my life and was so, so thankful to be able to go to the retreat. She had decided everyone needed to be hammered about ungratefulness and she took Scripture out of context to try to prove her point. Guilt is not a fruit of the Spirit.

6. Human application nearly always requires Scripture to be taken out of context. Entire cults have been built around this fact. Study up on a few cults; the ones which were started by religious followings were started with Scripture being taken out of context. This is not true of just cults; it's also true of many, many movements we've seen throughout history. Modern day movements are no different. They are built on mankind's ideas, false interpretation of Scripture and wrong applications of Scripture. Pick a movement, any movement, and hold it up to the Light of Scripture. You will find it is full of holes of non-contextual application.

7. Human application fuels human pride. This fact is clearly evident all over social media. We see people taking pictures of their Bible study time and posting it online for all to see. No more closet prayers done in secret. That scares me since God said He resists (opposes) the proud. (James 4:6)

8. Human application blinds us to the Truth. I once knew a preacher who constantly said things like, "I will not sacrifice godliness. I will not sacrifice righteousness." while his own behavior wasn't godly at all. He was busy not sacrificing "godliness" while he was (and still is) lying to and misleading his congregation on even small issues. All in the name of "godliness." He is blind to the Truth because he is wrongly applying things to his own life without the Holy Spirit. We are commanded to worship God in spirit and in truth. Human application blocks the way. Men like that declare themselves godly, outside the context of God, and people, fearful of disagreeing with what they perceive as God's anointed, allow this to happen. This is really an example of spiritual abuse. When someone tells you they will not sacrifice godliness, they are intimating that they have already attained godliness. Beware of those people. Do not sit under their teaching or follow their leadership.

9. Human application shows lack of faith. Because it's His Word, all fruit from His Word is His. Isaiah 55:11 promises that His Word will not return void, it will accomplish what He sends it to accomplish and will prosper in what He sends it to do. What's interesting about this verse is that it promises His Word will accomplish what He intends; it says nothing about our human intent or our human intervention. Be wary of people who tell you God can't do what He needs to do in your life without your cooperation. He gives no conditions to the accomplishment of His will. It will be done. Jonah's story is a good example of this.

Insist on studying God's Word in purity and Truth. A system like The Priscilla Principle, which does not include application at all, is better suited to unaltered Bible study. My life was transformed, but not by my application of God's Word to my life. It was transformed by His Word, alone. I had nothing to do with it. There were things He conquered in my life that I had no idea needed conquering. How would I have applied anything to them? The Priscilla Principle method does not include application. Rather it operates on the Scriptural promise that God's Word does not return void. (See point 9 above.)

Beware of books that insist you have an application step in your Bible study process. Applying His Word to our lives is not our job. I am seriously surprised that this is such a popular thing for people to do. But, I see it all over social media. I also see the results. I see people taking pictures of their Bible study time and posting it online. Farewell to the closet prayers we're commanded to have. I see people naming a ministry after themselves. Farewell to the humble servant who exalts Christ.

Any fruit we have in our lives is fruit of the Spirit. Having the fruit of the Spirit is a result of His work in our lives, not of our decisions to do/say/think/feel the "right" way. We cannot produce godly fruit. It's impossible. We have to stop trying. Perhaps one thing pushing people to try to apply God's Word to their lives and the lives of others is impatience. There is so much incredible power in waiting on the Lord. David says repeatedly in the Psalms, "Wait on the LORD." Isaiah (40:31) told of a great promise to those who wait. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not be weary; they will walk and not faint. I think I should add waiting as a Bible study step in The Priscilla Principle, for in the wait is strength.

Read the Scriptures > Observe without Speculation > Interpret  > Pray > Wait
Not an acronym.
Nothing fancy.
Study, then wait on the Lord. When He wants you to act, you will not be able to be still.

~Tricia