Who's your Boss? (Hint: It's not Your Pastor)

I recently read a church's position on a number of issues, including their "position" on women. Now, why a church has to have a "position" on women is beyond me. The Apostle Paul said in Galatians 3:28, "There is neither Greek nor Jew, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, but you are all one in Christ Jesus," so that pretty much puts the "issue" of women at rest for eternity.

For the record, women are not "issues" who need a policy. Women are joint heirs with Christ.

But, apparently, this church is so afraid a woman might teach a man that they created an entire policy to keep their women in line (cult much?). The church says, "The entire Bible teaches a hierarchy of roles for the home and the church..." and claims that "because the basis of this principle is grounded in the nature of creation...." and they depend on how "it was commonly applied in the original New Testament churches." They go on to say, "Galatians 3:28 (quoted above) affirms the equality of men and women. While the functioning of families and the church involve different roles for men and women, that distinction in no way implies superiority of either gender."

But, the problem is, none of this is true of what Scripture teaches. You can't have it both ways. You can't claim a God-given hierarchy, then tell the peons they are equal. Hierarchy, by its very definition, means they simply are not.

Hierarchy is defined as, "a system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority." (Dictionary.com) Given that definition, which is consistent from other sources as well, I am confused as to how a church can tell its women they are equal when men are given authority and/or status above them and make rules for them. This particular church claims that "the entire Bible teaches a hierarchy of roles for the home and the church," but they fail to show where "the entire Bible" teaches this. (Hint: No part of the Bible teaches this; it is a man-made idea. This is Secular Humanism.)

The "equality" they speak of is not the same equality you are thinking of. Their equality means, yes, they have equal value as a human being because they are made in the image of God, but that's as far as their equality goes. Do you think they mean equal access to the Savior? No, they don't. They mean access to the Savior as long as their husband (or father if they are not married), approves and they look to him as a "spiritual head." They don't encourage women to be independent students of the Word, they encourage women to follow their husbands first and Jesus second. (Never, ever do this. This makes your husband an idol.)

This church's rule book also states, "we don't ask women to assume roles where authoritative teaching and discipline occur." Given this, a woman really has no authority over her own children if they are in the presence of any male church leader. What a danger! (Again, cult much?) This is exactly why Donn Ketcham, ABWE's star doctor, was able to create an environment of abuse and carry his pedophilia on for decades in Bangladesh. (ABWE = The Association of Baptists for World Evangelism and they condoned, covered up and spread their prized doctor's (Donn Ketcham) pedophilia in Bangladesh and Michigan.) The mission board (ABWE) and their supporting churches gave Donn Ketcham complete authority over the other missionaries lives, including the lives of their children. This was all a set-up; Donn Ketcham did this intentionally so he could carry out this pedophilia without hindrance. His entire reason for going and being there was to practice pedophilia and he did it with no resistance for decades. Read more about this here. 

There is no room for hierarchy of any kind in a church. Godly women don't follow this kind of teaching or support it in any way. The definition of pastor/elder/deacon/bishop goes against the teaching these pastors/elders/deacons/bishops promote. Their role is servant. They are servants, not authority holders. They are to serve, not police.

So, let's understand the use of the word "authority" in the New Testament. Authority does not mean power over someone else's life. Your pastors/elders/deacons/bishops do not have authority over your life; they can't demand you live a certain way and enforce that demand. Their authority comes with what they are preaching. They are to preach and teach with authority over what they are preaching, not over the lives of the listeners. That authority comes only through the true preaching of the Word. God has spoken and one - anyone - who teaches what God has spoken is doing it with the authority God built into His Word. They (we) have authority to preach and teach the Word because the Word is what carries the authority. They do not have the authority to boss your life. They do not have authority to promote their own ideas/interpretations. Also, there is no Scriptural basis for preventing women from having the same authority if they are teaching God's Word because, again, it's the Word that holds the authority, not the people teaching. Jesus, Himself, appointed the first evangelist - and it was a woman - and her words of His resurrection carried all the authority of that resurrection.

We also have a responsibility with God's Word when we are listeners. Even if we are not in a position of teaching or preaching, we have the responsibility to only follow those teachers/preachers/leaders who follow Christ. We are to make sure what they are teaching is in line with the Scriptures (Acts 17:11) and confront them if it is not. If you ever hesitate to question your pastor, know that any pastor worth their salt is not only open to questioning, but welcomes it and from anyone. Those who don't welcome questioning should not be teaching/preaching. You do not have to support those who refuse to submit to questioning. I personally scrutinize every single sermon I hear. I double check to make sure the preacher has stayed true to the context, to the consistency of God's character and does not cross over to Secular Humanism (an easy cross-over).

Deciding to join a church does place us in a position of submission so as not to disrupt the order of services, etc., but that position does not contain a hierarchy. We are all admonished to "Submit yourselves one to another" in Ephesians 5:21. Submission is not exclusively for women. We each, leaders and learners, are to submit one to another. Everyone, without exception, is to submit to the next person. This is not optional, but neither is it enforceable, i.e. no one can demand certain behaviors and/or actions from you.

I was visiting a church one time when a visiting preacher got up to preach. The first thing he said was, "I'm going to talk about Ephesians 5, but I don't want you to open your Bibles, I just want you to listen." Shocked, I looked around and saw nearly everyone lay their Bible beside them and not open it. Not me. I opened right up to Ephesians 5 and was dismayed to see that the man talked only of his own ideas and interpretations the entire time. Afterward, I confronted him. I introduced myself, told him I was a visitor and then told him I was dismayed that he'd asked people not to open their Bibles. Immediately, this man was sorry. He said, "You are absolutely right. I never, ever should have done that you can bet I'll never do it again. Thank you." I gotta say, that man had true humility. Yes, he really did thank me for confronting him.

Listen to every sermon you hear with a critical ear. Take no one's word for anything, but look it all up for yourselves. Question everything and if you can't find the answers in the Scriptures yourself, talk to the preacher and ask for clarification on what they said, then correct them if needed.

~Tricia

Why ABWE Needs to Shut Down

My husband and I have been silenced about abuse. When we lived in MN and my husband tried to get the state Baptist Fellowship to even be aware of Gordon Larson's inappropriate relationships with other women, he was ridiculed, silenced and shamed. No one would listen. Now, Gordon Larson, a former pastor of a GARBC church, is now serving a life sentence in the WI State Prison for sexually abusing his own daughter.

And we tried to warn them.

And they would not listen.

And many are not listening when it comes to ABWE. Many of us have tried and tried to ask some important questions of ABWE and its missionaries, to no avail. They simply won't answer us.

Two days ago, Kathryn Joyce published an article in the New Republic Magazine that blew ABWE's continued wrong attitude wide open again. Yet, I doubt anyone who works with ABWE will care. In this article, there are so many good quotes, but the one standing out in my mind is:

The group’s current president, Al Cockrell, responded to questions by issuing a statement. He suggested that PII’s report may include unspecified “misinterpretations or errors,” 

It did go on to say, 

but acknowledged that it contains “absolute facts” showing that “past ABWE leadership failed to act with integrity and accountability in our handling of abuse perpetrated by Don Ketcham,” and “utterly failed in our response to his victims.”

Let me tell you what's wrong with this statement. First of all, Al Cockrell makes sure to cast doubt on the victims by saying that the Pii Report "may include unspecified 'misinterpretations or errors,'" but he does not clarify what those "misinterpretations or errors" are or even could be. This leaves the reader to reach their own conclusion...this opens the door to doubt about the victims' accounts of what happened. To make an open-ended statement that in any way casts doubt on the victims, or even leaves room for doubt, is irresponsible "leadership." 

The article also states that Al Cockrell acknowledged that the report contains "absolute facts" but he does not specify what facts are absolute! Again, this leaves room for doubt.

How can ABWE think that someone who would be so careless be considered a viable leader of an organization supposedly representing the Living God? 

The fact that Al Cockrell said "past ABWE leadership failed to act with integrity and accountability in our handling of abuse perpetrated by Donn Ketcham" is easy to say because he's flinging blame behind himself to the past, not onto himself and what he has done/said and is doing now., which is casting doubt. What he's doing now is irresponsible, not showing accountability and not giving these victims their due respect. 

Casting doubt on them in any way, shape or form undoes what ABWE thinks they accomplished in their faux apologies and efforts to "make things right."

I am sickened by this latest display of dishonor by ABWE.

There is so much more I want to address from this article.

UPDATE TO THIS BLOG POST, SEPT 4, 2019:
As of today, 9.4.2019, Al Cockrell is no longer president of ABWE, Paul Davis was appointed president in 2017. Paul Davis served on the board of directors with ABWE and was part of the massive cover-up ABWE inflicted on Donn Ketcham's victims and part of the continuing culture of abuse within ABWE. 

~Tricia

Donn Ketcham is FINALLY Going to Stand Trial

Just this week, WoodTV of Grand Rapids, MI, broke the news that Donn Ketcham, former missionary with ABWE (Association of Baptists for World Evangelism) is going to stand trial for at least one of his many sex crimes against children.

You can read and watch the news report here.

He, through his lawyers, tried to discredit his victim. He tried to invalidate her testimony. He denies what he did to her. She, on the other hand, remembers every detail, right down to what she was wearing that day.

Abusers always try to discredit their victims and invalidate them in one way or another. Always. Ketcham is using the typical abuser tactics and rhetoric. However, it's obvious to some of us.

ABWE is also mentioned in this piece concerning their cover up of Ketcham's crimes, and rightly so. Did you know that ABWE is still covering certain things up? All the men who were supposedly dismissed for their part in the cover up were sent letters giving them emeritus status. Yep. They covered up horrible crimes against children, then were quietly honored with emeritus status, which they apparently still hold. I've asked about this and no one will answer me. They simply don't answer.

Clearly, Donn Ketcham is still not owning what he did, which discredits any remorse he likes to pretend he has. I am so glad the judge in this case found enough evidence from his victim's testimony to move forward with this case.

Justice is finally coming to all his victims.
~Tricia

Book Review (Gotta Be a Boy!)

I just finished reading Jenny Nordburg's The Underground Girls of Kabul: In search of a Hidden Resistance in Afghanistan. I found this book to be riveting, educational and astounding.

To think that many Afghan families, the father included, encourage and even insist on bacha posh for some of their daughters is to rethink everything I've ever heard about Afghanistan. Bacha posh is the practice of girls in a family being raised as boys, right down to how they dress and cut their hair. Most who practice bacha posh "turn back into a girl" at puberty......but, curiously, not all do.

In their culture, it's an absolute tragedy for an Afghan family to be made up only of girls. When there are only girls, one of those girls has to become a boy. So, the family either raises her as a boy right at birth, or turns her into a boy at some point in her childhood. One girl went to school her first 2 years as a girl, then returned her 3rd year as boy. One parent explained, "We have no sons," and that was all the explanation the teacher needed. If you have no sons, make your daughter into a son. This is an acceptable solution. Since daughters are so dreaded and every family has to have a son, turning a daughter into a son is a reasonable solution and very widely accepted throughout Afghanistan.

Girls in Afghanistan can't go outside without a male escort, even as children. If a young girl is playing outside with a brother close by, though, it's ok. If she has to walk to school (if she gets to go to school), she can do so with a brother. She cannot walk alone and it's not enough to walk with a sister. For a family of girls to have any chance of a future at all, at least one of those girls has to pass herself off as a boy.

There are many rules for girls and women in Afghanistan. All these rules are made and reinforced by men. However, some women also uphold and enforce the rules. The author points out that a society is not truly oppressed until they oppress one another. Women who have capitulated to the rules, for any reason (even forced), oppress other women in an effort to force them to also capitulate to the rules. There are very few rules for boys and men in Afghanistan. Those who make the rules are rarely held to the rules.

Interestingly, some fathers want their daughters to get an education, have a career and even serve in government offices. These fathers are also beaten down by the culture and, to a large extent, not able to help their daughters accomplish these goals.

This seems like patriarchy in the extreme. This seems like behavior we would never see in the west or in western culture. But, sadly, we do see similar behaviors in the west, of all places, in the church.

I'm not talking about some segments of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which practice polygamy and oppression of women more openly. I'm talking about the average fundamental, evangelical church in America and the places these American churches have sent missionaries. The vast majority of these churches teach and practice oppression of women.

This oppressive culture, mentioned in the Pii Report done on ABWE (Association of Baptists for World Evangelism) after Donn Ketcham's pedophile acts, and subsequent cover ups, were revealed, and continues to be present in churches and evangelical organizations. Women continue to be sidelined. False interpretations of Scripture continue to be prominent and misused in an attempt to intimidate women, often causing them to doubt their own relationship with God.

Do you have any idea how far this oppression goes? Look around you. It's highly likely a woman or girl was assaulted or abused in your church - recently. Those of us who work with these women are aware of how frequent this is. Their pastors generally live in a state of ignorance or denial, thinking it can't happen in his church.

It's happening.
Patriarchy is the crux of the problem.
Rid your church of patriarchy and you will rid yourself of much of the abuse.

What's happening in Afghanistan with bacha posh is not as far-fetched as you might think. Did you know that J.K.Rowling used her initials for her name because she's a woman and her publisher didn't think people would buy such a book from a woman? Yes, look it up; it's true. So, here we have a modern, European woman pretending to be a man, or at least veiling the fact that she's a woman, in order to accomplish something women are not "permitted" to accomplish by cultural standards.

And some people, evangelical pastors especially, think there's no problem at all.
Their ignorance is blinding to me.

~Tricia
Photo courtesy of Imagebase.

How to Make Me Stop Blogging about ABWE

Abuse is never isolated. If someone abuses one person, they will likely abuse another. No pedophile has been found to have only one victim. There are always multiple victims. Some of those victims are too hurt to tell anyone about the abuse. Other victims wait until a good number of other victims have spoken out, then they find strength to do the same. Others are first to speak out and pave the way for more.

Because victimization is so personal, each victim has to find their own way and work in whatever time frame they can in their process of healing.

Because many of us know this, either through surviving victimization ourselves or by working with those who are healing, we know that each victim takes their own, very private, very personalized path to healing. But, we also know that many need a boost. They need an outlet for their voice. They need a safe place to voice their experience.

That's why my blogging about ABWE continues, and will continue. We, my husband and I, have received many messages from people who want to tell their stories but are still too afraid to be known by name.

Victimization can take different formats. While the direct victims of Donn Ketcham's pedophilia are dealing with healing from sexual abuse, there are other victims, too.

There's the ABWE missionary on another field who saw the way ABWE handled Donn Ketcham's abuse in 1989 and realized they were handling "problems" and "potential problems" on other fields in the same, wrong way and he spoke up. And ABWE administration told him to "Shut up" about these problems.....and he did.....and he carried the weight of this alone....and he had a heart attack.

Another hard-working missionary realized he could not stay with ABWE in good conscience not only because it was his friend and co-laborer who was hushed, but he also saw how wrong they were, so he actually left ABWE. His conscience could not allow him to continue. He could not work with a mission board that was covering up sin on "various mission fields." The problems were not isolated to Bangladesh. They were/are widespread. They continue. I wonder how long before victims from other mission fields will come forward.

The culture of abuse within ABWE has to be recognized before any real changes are going to take place. Some current ABWE missionaries are treating this like it needs to go away now. They are weary of the continuation of blogs like this one and comments on Facebook groups and other social media sites.

I'll tell you what. Just as soon as we stop getting private messages from various victims and just as soon as those victims are properly vindicated and just as soon as ABWE recognizes the culture of abuse they continue to operate in and fix it to our satisfaction, we will stop. Until then, I will blog in hopes of giving more and more victims the courage to come forward and break out of their silence.

To the victims: You are not alone. We are praying for you. We are here for you. We are aware of your pain. You are the reason I'm blogging and continuing to speak out against abuse. Your private messages are empowering.

~Tricia

Oops! They Did it Again! (Not ABWE......But...)

Again, just like ABWE (The Association of Baptist for World Evangelism, the abuse report found here), a Baptist organization,  this time a church, has violated a young girl and tried to make her apologize to the youth pastor's wife for what they call "her part" in the act of her youth pastor raping her.

Read the article here.

Sound familiar? Following the same path as ABWE, decades later, Columbia Road Baptist Church in North Olmsted, Ohio, not only turned a blind eye to a youth pastor who was exhibiting pedophile-consistent behavior, but they enabled him to do more and more. This horrific rape of this young girl could have been prevented. According to the article, the youth pastor, Brian Mitchell, started out by "constantly texting" this young girl and "complaining about his wife." When church officials found out about the texts, they "temporarily stopped," but picked up again and Mitchell's behavior escalated into full-blown rape.

I wonder if any of those "church officials" are women.

And now, church officials want that abused young girl to apologize to Mitchell's wife.

She could say, "I'm sorry your husband is a rapist."
She could say, "I'm sorry you go to a church that not only enabled a pedophile to serve as a pastor, but tries to take his victim down with him."

I have one word for Columbia Road Baptist Church in North Olmsted, Ohio: ICHABOD

Surely the glory of the Lord has departed.

The writer of the article I linked above, Stephen D. Foster, Jr., said, "Quite frankly, I think the church should be slapped with a lawsuit for not reporting Mitchell's harassment of the teen in the first place." I totally agree.

What does this have to do with ABWE? A lot. ABWE followed that same pattern and are following it to a degree even now. Yes, even now. I know people who are trying to get answers from ABWE and they have been ignored again and again. Some of us who want answers to some valid, hard questions, were told to "go to the town hall meetings in MI." Trouble is, not everyone with questions can travel. Why can't they just answer our questions? Why can they only answer questions in Michigan?

They are done. ABWE and its currently serving missionaries seem to think it's a done deal and that we should move on and support them as we always have. Huh? Uh, no. I, personally, will no longer support any missionary who serves with ABWE. They not only circled their wagons, they've shut out anyone who does not serve their purpose, and their purpose is not the gospel of Christ. Their purpose is to look out for the organization.

As for Brian Mitchell, I'm so, so glad he's in prison now, sentenced to 10 years. I will be praying for his victim(s) and her family.

It's not too late for Donn Ketcham to go to prison.

Shame on ABWE for not answering questions.

Look around your church. How many young girls are being harassed? How many have been raped by church leadership? It's more than you think.

~ICHABOD
~Tricia
PLEASE NOTE: This is NOT the Brian Mitchell, a BBC grad who is programming pastor at Spring Creek Church near Milwaukee, WI. Please do not confuse the two.

Book Review - black and white bible, black and blue wife by Ruth Tucker

I recently bought and read Ruth Tucker's book, black and white bible, black and blue wife. This book is a valuable tool in the fight against domestic violence and abuse in marriages, especially within the church. This candid account of a pastor's wife who was beaten and abused by her pastor-husband gives vivid insight into the trap of domestic violence and the role ministry can play.

One thing that resonated with me was that Ruth found her hope through her own, personal study of the Scriptures. I personally think this is the one key to all Christian growth, but I meet Christian wives who actually stunt their own spiritual growth, or allow it to be stunted by their husbands. This has to stop. We women need to pursue Jesus as individuals, not as a wives, not through our husbands and not allow our personal, spiritual growth to be slowed or stunted by anyone.

I highly recommend this book. I think pastors need to read it so they will know what not to do when they find out about abuse in their church. If a pastor thinks this does not happen among his members, he is sorely mistaken. It's more common than most people realize.

We can stop the cycle of abuse. This book can help by opening our eyes to the abuse often going on all around us. I admire Ruth's courage in writing this and am aware of the pain it must have caused to "relive" these events through writing.

This epidemic of abuse has to matter to all Christians. In light of the abuse recently revealed about Donn Ketcham and ABWE (Association of Baptists for World Evangelism), we can't keep our heads in the ground like ostriches and insulate ourselves from the effects of abuse. We can't declare that "it doesn't edify me" and ignore what our fellow Christians are enduring. Abuse edifies no one, but if Christian leaders dismiss it because they, personally, aren't "edified," they really don't belong in Christian leadership. Compassion hurts; it made Jesus weep. Where is it these days? 

Click here to buy Ruth's book and prepare to have your mind and your heart opened.

~Tricia

By Request: More on the Culture of Abuse within ABWE

I have been asked to comment on the steps ABWE has taken since the Pii Report came out.

I was told they have made changes.....specifically, 1) they have put a child safety officer in the home office, 2) they now offer training both in the home office and on the field for child abuse recognition and reporting, 3) both missionaries and churches are being invited to "town hall" meetings in MI to answer questions about the Pii Report and 4) survivors of Donn Ketcham's and ABWE's abuse are receiving counseling at the expense of ABWE.

These 4 things might appear to be a good start, but they are certainly not enough. At least one victim has said they are glad to see ABWE "moving in the right direction." However, understand that even if they are moving in the right direction, they are far from being completely changed as an organization.

1. They need to recognize that they are operating within a culture of abuse, not just dealing with one sinful man and a host of enablers. Donn Ketcham is an evil man, no doubt, but he relished in the glory poured out on him by ABWE. Throughout the Pii Report, notes of concern and abuse acknowledgements were often followed by awards and gratitude doled out by ABWE onto Donn Ketcham. So, even though there were reports of abuse back to the 1960's and others on the field knew about these reports, Donn Ketcham continued to receive praise and accolades while his victims cowered in fear and disgust.

This present and ongoing culture evidences itself within the language used by those associated with ABWE. They frequently call each other and their leadership "godly" people. I have seen this phrase used as a way to attempt to silence many who have tried to speak out against ABWE. The label silences by making people feel that, since they are "godly," it's wrong to question them or anything they do or say. It's as though they are the "appointed godly ones" so they get to determine who is godly and who is not and they always choose themselves. This is humanism through and through. And it's not godly. Godly does not announce itself.

This practice is very common within cults and other organizations which are known for controlling their members. ABWE needs to stop this type of dialog, realize that any and all of them, at any time, could fall into sin at the drop of a hat and disqualify themselves in an instant.

Right now, communication with some within ABWE indicates they do not recognize their own culture of abuse, thus denying its existence. They don't believe a culture of abuse exists and some don't believe a culture of abuse ever existed. They are not recognizing the culture that allowed Donn Ketcham to practice pedophelia for decades. This means abuse will likely take place again.


2. They need to address all questions, not just ones at town hall meetings where participants are invited. I know several people who have tried to contact ABWE with questions about the Pii Report and those people have been ignored. Not everyone is able to travel to MI to be part of a town hall meeting. Not everyone is invited, yet we might sit in a church pew and listen to an ABWE missionary ask for our money. How can we give our money when you won't give us time of day? For people's attempts to contact ABWE to go unanswered is disturbing. I, personally, have been ignored by "leaders" within Baptist organizations and it's a terrible feeling. It's downright abusive; it feels like the "silent" treatment. This has no place in the Christian world.

3. Male dominance has to go. The Pii Report says the following:

How is ABWE working to correct this? Their board has 16 men and only 3 women. This has to change. What about having 10 women, 9 men and a female president? What about an all-female board and a female president? Are they willing to "go that far?" It would certainly show the victims that real change is possible and they are willing to make those changes. There is no shortage of qualified women and there never has been. 

There is no Christ-centered practice in the Bible wherein women are so minimized as they are in Baptist organizations. There is no biblical foundation for its practice in a Christian organization. Male dominance was not something Jesus practiced, condoned or promoted. In fact, He practiced the very opposite, appointing a woman as the first evangelist after appearing to Mary Magdalene following His resurrection, assigning a woman to tell of His coming in revealing Himself to the woman at the well and using Priscilla to teach Apollos. The list goes on and on. Our mission boards, churches and other organizations need to look less like Fundamentalist cults and more like Christ. (At least Warren Jeffs went to prison for his pedophelia....)

4. Transparency has to be evidenced. When people are ignored or referred elsewhere for answers by ABWE officials, that shows a lack of transparency. A lack of transparency shows fear. A showing of fear makes one wonder what they are afraid of. Hence, a lack of transparency fuels a lack of trust.

5. Defensiveness within ABWE has to go. In talking to a few ABWE missionaries and one ABWE missionary appointee, I sensed a defensiveness with some which I found disturbing. In a sense of repentance, there is no room for defensiveness. Defensiveness indicates an unwillingness to hear more and an unwillingness to answer further. Every person who has ever given even a dime to help support  any missionary who serves with ABWE deserves answers, not defensiveness. 

6. ABWE missionaries, leaders and even office workers need to realize that trust has to be earned. After all that has happened, people are not going to just trust them again because they claim to now be humble. Abuse survivors recognize humility and don't need to be told who is humble and who is not. ABWE needs to realize that earning trust takes time and during that time, if they are defensive, trust will take even longer to earn. If someone tells you they are humble, you know they are not. 

I have indicated to those within ABWE who I have talked to that I have read the Pii Report (twice and some parts of it three times), yet they nearly always invite me to read it as though they assume I have not. Each time I review a portion, frustration and anger are rekindled. ABWE needs to realize that the report is relatively new, this information is new to most who are reading it and those with a conscience who are reading it need time to process its contents. This process takes time. It will take a good amount of anger and frustration to work through it and these are proper responses. ABWE has to show humility by being transparent, fixing the imbalance of power as a male-dominant organization and, if they financially survive the massive lawsuit brewing in MI, to proceed with obvious humility that is shown and not announced. 

They also need to show patience for those who are processing the contents of the report. Many of these people gave a whole lot of money, thinking they were giving to further the gospel. They had no idea that some of their money would actually be used as "hush money" to quiet people who might talk about Donn Ketcham's horrible crimes, then later to pay counselors to help victims. (Donn Ketcham and his many enablers should be paying that bill.) Many people spent hours in prayer, trusting ABWE to hold the Word out to a lost world. All Donn Ketcham did was take their money and hold himself up as a "demi-god" to young, vulnerable children, then ABWE spit on the prayers by covering it up. 

Processing this takes time. 

This is the tip of the iceberg.

More to come,

~Tricia

Hush! Keep Quiet about ABWE!

In their book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen said,

"The difference between an abusive and non-abusive system is that while hurtful behaviors might happen in both, it is not permissible to talk about problems, hurts and abuses in the abusive system. Hence, there is no healing and restoration after the wound has occurred, and the victim is made to feel at fault for questioning or pointing out the problem." 

This statement is true and is showing itself within the Christian community concerning Donn Ketcham and ABWE. This speaks to the silencing of the victims right up to now with the attempted silencing of those of us who want ABWE to truly come clean and do the right thing.

It seems that some ABWE missionaries are towing a line of silence and attempting to hush those who would speak out - even now. They are accusing those who are speaking up of "caustic" speech and literally telling them to stop talking about ABWE. At least one of these missionaries has falsely represented the Pii Report and information contained within that report, claiming that nothing took place before the 1980s. Information from the Pii Report says differently:

A code of silence is part of the problem. WoodTV8 in Grand Rapids, MI, has helped some of Ketcham's and ABWE's victims have a voice and given them courage to speak up when previously they could not. They were silenced. They were ignored. They were hushed.

Unlike what some current ABWE missionaries are claiming, ABWE has not done everything they can do to help the victims. According to the Pii Report, they were withholding information and being non-cooperative even as close as one year ago. Where were they in the years the victims were silenced, at least one even with "hush money" and ignored? They only came clean when forced to and even then unwillingly. The victims, silenced for too long, finally found a voice through blogging, then ABWE could not ignore the blog.

ABWE and its sitting missionaries need to step up and invite people to talk about this, whether in chat groups online or blog posts. Instead, they are fighting the ones speaking up, then accusing them of causing division. They might tell you they invite people to talk to them - only them - about it, but people I know who tried to contact them received no response.

As for the accusation of "causing division," Donn Ketcham caused the first division by sexually abusing young girls. ABWE officials continued the division by kidnapping a young girl and carting her half-way around the world while coercing a forced "confession" out of her. They continued their drive of division by covering up their abuse and Ketcham's abuse and fighting the victims when they tried to have their voice.

If you are trying to hush those who are talking about this, you are part of the problem. Those of us who care about these victims will not hush and will continue to speak truth for their sakes.

Beware, you who try to silence the truth-tellers. You are revealing yourself to be on the abusive side. Take a step back and think again about trying silence anyone. This is America; we get to speak. We will speak. We will not be hushed.

~Tricia

I Hope They Walk Away from "the Faith"

There has been much comment and even debate about the victims of Donn Ketcham, detailed somewhat here in an article and news piece by WoodTV8 in Grand Rapids, MI.

Debate? Why would there be debate? In several online discussions, the debate has been about Donn Ketcham's victims and how many turned away from God and "the faith" because of his abuse and ABWE's cover-up.

I would argue that their turning away from God and "the faith" is perfectly justified, if not desired. What they are turning away from is not the one true God or "the faith" at all. They are turning away from ABWE's god and Ketcham's god and "the faith" they portrayed, which is nothing more than faith in sinful man. They are turning away from a false representation of our real and loving God to a true understanding of what the God of the Bible is really about. And He is about justice and that is no small thing. He gave His only begotten Son to fulfill His mighty justice and Christians need to realize the sacrifice that involved and quit striving for easy forgiveness instead of justice.

They are turning away from "the faith" that demands they forgive before their souls can heal.
They are turning away from the false Bible teachings that ABWE practiced and followed which led them right to Ketcham's traps.
They are turning away from the lies that ABWE perpetuated for so many years.
They are turning away from the "hush money" that was given in exchange for a hope of silence.
They are turning away from "the faith" that ABWE used to justify their continued abuse of these girls and the unthinkable "confession" they forced from a young girl while kidnapping her half way around the world.

I hope they all give up all "the faith" that has led to this. The abusers - Ketcham and every single person involved with ABWE at the time - sat in their "holy" offices and medical facilities and not only took the innocence of these victims, but did it in the name of "the faith" and "god."

I don't see these people falling prostrate, willing to give it all up in order to help these victims. But, what did they do? They issued a carefully worded statement then shut the doors of communication. They have said nothing of this news report and Ketcham rudely shut his door in the reporter's face.

If I was a missionary with ABWE right now....as in presently (note: I never would have been because they never would have had me because I question everything all the time and that is not tolerated), I would be frantically looking for a new mission board. I would refuse to be part of this shallow, inadequate response and distance myself as fast and as far as possible. I would be working to secure a retirement plan outside of ABWE, independently. If the law gets involved, as is likely in MI, ABWE won't stand a chance anyway. How many people are going to give their hard-earned money to pay legal fees instead of spread the gospel? People have already given money that was used as hush money. How many of God's real people are going to keep doing that?

No, ABWE, it's over. Pack it in; there is no return. You could have saved this, but it's too late now. The price is too high. You put a pedophile in the midst of a whole new set of victims when you refused to do the right thing in 1989 and now it's too late. As Ketcham showed in Bangladesh, pedophiles are never limited to one victim. There are more in MI, just as so many of us suspected when we heard this awful news in the first place several years ago. You, ABWE, are as guilty as Ketcham.

As for the victims, I hope they all abandon "the faith" and find the one true living God.  He is compassionate and full of grace for their hearts in an all-sufficient way that can heal. I hope they all walk away from Ketcham's and ABWE's "god" and see the true God of the Bible and His restful spirit waiting for them. He was never, ever part of any of their so-called "mission work" overseas. God was not there. It was all orchestrated by a sinful man, operating under a sinful board for sinful purposes.

People cite the "good" they say Ketcham did and the "good" ABWE has supposedly done over the years. But, they did no good. None. All their righteousness is as filthy rags. They did no good and they are not good.

Walk away, wounded ones, from this false teaching and "the faith" they scorn and find hope in our living, gracious God. And, for future reference, question everything. Out loud. Repeatedly. Always question everything. And know that when someone tells you they are godly, they have proven that they are not.

~Tricia

Then This Happened - BANNED!

Yesterday morning, I posted this blog post about the ABWE sex abuse scandal. (Click here) This post was a follow-up to this post (click here) about fixing the culture of abuse within ABWE and other faith-based organizations. I shared the blog posts on several social media sites as well as in a couple of college Facebook groups from my college years, specifically BBC in the 70s and BBC in the 80s.

When I shared the first blog post in the 70s group, one group administrator put up a generalized statement about sharing other things and keeping it light. After the sharing of the 2nd blog post, no such generalizations were stated, the administrators of the group simply removed me entirely from the group, effectively banning me.

The 80s group kept me and my blog post on there and simply kept going as normal.

The fact that the 70s group administration removed me completely from the group makes me suspicious. They have not spoken with me, did not in any way warn me that this could happen. They simply censored me and my blog.

Clearly they have every right to do that. If anyone in the group posts something they don't want to talk about, they can remove them without a word.

So be it.
I am not deterred but I am disturbed.

Not only was I removed from the group, but my blog was addressed by a woman who had major issues with things I said. She had issue with the statement, "If your husband doesn't pursue Christ as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue without him." This woman said the Bible does not teach this. When I presented the argument that it does and tried to show her, she quickly ended the conversation and that was that.

The Bible says, "Looking to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith." This is what I encourage people to do. (Hebrew 12:1-3)

Before her hit-and-run finale, this woman also had issue with me saying, "Look to Jesus, not your husband, for your faith and courage." She said this is "wrong advice." She didn't wait around for me to point out that the Bible tells us to look to Jesus, that "He, alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 62:6. (There are many more verses that teach this. Look them up; they are very encouraging.) This woman told me she'd been in a leadership position in some mission board at one time. How can a person like that, who has obvious objection to direct Bible teaching, qualify for a leadership position on a mission board?

This explains a lot. The fact that, without so much as a word of warning and no discussion, I can be removed from a supposedly "Christian" group for telling the truth speaks volumes about the administrators of that group. What are they hiding? Did my words strike too close to home for them? Why do they need to hush the abuse of Donn Ketcham? And the fact that a woman who was in leadership in a mission board would say that looking to Jesus is "wrong advice," tells me a lot about where these mission boards are.

When a leader in any supposedly Christian organization tells you something that is directly contrary to the Bible, beware. That person is not qualified to lead in a Christian organization.

Pressing on for Truth,
~Tricia

More on Fixing the Culture of Abuse in ABWE and the Church

In order for abuse to happen, there needs to be at least 2 participants: the abuser and the victim. How each ends up in their roles is not a mystery. Abusers seek victims and intentionally look for specific weaknesses they perceive in people. The overwhelming majority of victims are women and children, but that's not to say men are never victims. Men are surely abuse victims as well.

For the purpose of this blog post, I'm going to focus on male abusers since it was a man who abused so many in ABWE. He chose the weak ones.....the children....and he weakened their potential advocates, the women. This was not an accident. This was intentional.

Because patriarchy within Baptist circles exalts men and minimizes women, it was easy for Donn Ketcham to carry out his abuse. It was easy to carry out......it was easy to carry on.......it was easy to hide.....it was easy to keep hidden.

It's easy to hide abuse while in a room filled with men who call themselves godly and exalt themselves above the rest of the population. I see pictures of these men sitting in these rooms all the time.....they make rules for the women and they dominate the children. They often use phrases like, "I will not sacrifice godliness," or "We must be sure we honor the Lord," or "We cannot sacrifice righteousness." Trouble is, they have no idea what godliness, honor and righteousness look like because they are simply looking in mirrors while giving those labels to their own selves.

Newsflash: Men who call themselves godly are not godly.
Newsflash: Men who name a "ministry" after themselves are not godly.

Get this.
Understand this.

I have met many men who tell me they are godly. They do this in an attempt to humble me in some way so that I will submit to them. They exalt their opinions above mine, cite Scripture out of context to "prove" their point and often interrupt, twist and minimize anything I might have to say. This is a very common practice among Baptists. I see right through men like that. Poor little men.

Women, we do not have to submit to these men. This will stop abuse within the church and within the mission boards and other agencies related to and working with the church. Stop submitting to men.

What about our husbands? Submission has to be defined as the Bible presents it, not as western culture presents it.

1. Submission does not mean we compromise our pursuit of Christ. If your husband doesn't pursue Christ as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue without him. Let no one get in the way of your pursuit of Christ. This really says it all. Go after Jesus....alone.

2. Submission does not mean obedience. We are grown women; we do not have to obey a husband like we had to obey our fathers at home. Your husband is not your boss. He is your partner. He has equal say, not final say.

3. Submission does not mean self-effacing. We are Daughters of Abraham. It is not becoming to minimize ourselves so that some man looks more important. That is not becoming to a Daughter of Abraham.

4. Submission is not just for women. God told Abraham to submit to Sarah. King David submitted to Abigail. The list goes on.

Girls, I truly believe it's women who will lead the fight on abuse within the church. Take a stand. Do not attend a church that tolerates abuse. Confront men who minimize you. Do not compromise your walk with Christ. Look to Jesus, not your husband, for your faith and courage. Do not allow submission to be put over you like a blanket while some man calls it "godly." It is not.

Pursue Christ alone.
~Tricia