Does Patriarchy Promote Idol Worship?

 Does Patriarchy Promote Idol Worship?  

Smith’s Bible Dictionary defines “idol” as, “An image or anything used as an object of  worship in place of the true God.” 

In a recent conversation on social media, I was confronted by a woman who strongly  disagreed with a statement I made in which I said, “If your husband does not pursue Christ  as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue without him.” She said my statement is  unbiblical and flawed. She compared the statement to being non-submissive as though  pursuing Christ could be construed as non-submissive. She went on to say, “I do look to Jesus  but I also rest in my husband and look for his godly input.”  

Another statement she called me out on was, “Look to Jesus, not your husband, for your  faith and courage.” My statements were made in the context of helping abuse victims  overcome the deeds of their abuser(s). However, I really think the context is irrelevant to  this statement because looking to Jesus for our faith and courage is straight out of Scripture (Hebrews 12:2), yet this woman argued with me. She’s a Christian woman, yet she disagrees  with the idea of looking to Jesus instead of our husbands for faith and courage. 

We can look to other people for input….and we judge their qualifications to give input by  God’s Word, but that does not change the fact that the Bible tells us to “Look to Jesus, the  author and finisher of our faith.” Because this woman equated my statement of looking to  Jesus with never, ever getting my husband’s input, she felt I was teaching non-submissiveness. She said my advice was wrong and unbiblical.  

She filters all through her husband. She said, “Yes, we look to Jesus first, but we also look to  our husbands for our faith and courage. It was the seeming omission of the husband’s part  in the wife’s spiritual growth that is not scriptural.” I find no “husband’s part in the wife’s  spiritual growth” that she spoke of, other than a normal admonishment to edify one  another as joint heirs of Christ.  

This is idol worship.  

This is extra-biblical teaching.  

This is dangerous teaching. 

And this sums up the poverty of patriarchy. That a wife would be discouraged from looking  to Jesus in any way, shape or form speaks to the fact that patriarchy teaches, and even  encourages, idol worship. The Bible says, “Look to Jesus…” This woman said, “Look to Jesus,  but…” Big difference. There are no buts. The verses, Hebrews 12:1&2, come after chapter  11, which names and briefly describes many great witnesses of the faith. Chapter 12 opens  with references to this great cloud of witnesses we are surrounded by and encourages us to  “lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely and run with endurance the race that  is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…”  

This passage does not have a sub-message for wives. This passage is talking to every  Christian…young, old, male, female, married, single, etc. There are no “buts…” included and 

we are out of line to add one. There is no marital filter in Scripture. Jesus, not your husband,  is your top priority. Seek Jesus. Follow Jesus. Look to Jesus. Jesus, not your husband, is the  object of your focus. No portion of Scripture tells us to pursue a spouse over Jesus. It’s  simply not taught. No portion of Scripture tells us to pursue Jesus through a spouse. This is  man’s idea, rooted in patriarchy, bathed in idol worship and designed to draw us away from  Jesus. Your primary relationship is your relationship with Christ. Let nothing get in the way of that relationship. 

Give your relationship with Christ the most time, attention and energy. Your marriage will  be better and stronger if you do. Many wives find themselves, out of the frustration of  patriarchy, manipulating and plotting to control their husband. Time spent trying to  manipulate a husband is time better spent learning of Jesus. Manipulation, a product of  patriarchy, shows a complete lack of faith in God. Manipulation is nothing more than an  effort to control. But, that is a nearly inevitable response because patriarchy is nothing  more than an effort to control and it has the support of the church. Most independent thinking women struggle against it, not because they are rebellious or un-submissive, but  because their walk with Christ comes into question and they are told to pursue their  husband over pursuing Christ.  

It’s better if Jesus is in control. When we pursue Christ above all else, all else falls into place.  

Never compromise any part of your relationship with Christ for the sake of another  person…. Including your husband.  

Never slow your pursuit of Christ for the sake of anyone else…. Including your husband.  Wait for no one.  

Pursue Christ with gusto.  

Patriarchy creates idol worship by encouraging wives to put their husband before Christ by way of a perceived “marital filter” which teaches wives that everything they  do/think/feel/say has to go through their husband. Some have gone so far as to say a wife’s  focus should be submission. Oh, my, no. A wife’s focus should be Jesus, only Jesus. 

There’s an umbrella image floating around the internet and I’ve seen many Christians  embrace and promote this image declaring it “the natural order of the family.” This image  shows a large umbrella with Christ written on its opening. Under that is another umbrella  which is labeled “husband.” Under that, yet another umbrella which is labeled “wife.” This  image is disturbing to me because it puts the husband between the wife and Christ. The  Bible tells us there is but one Mediator between God and people, the man Christ Jesus (I  Timothy 2:5), but this widely embraced graphic teaches the opposite. This graphic openly  teaches idol worship. It needs to be debunked. I am confused as to why so many Christians approve of this image. 

“Debbie” called me on a Wednesday afternoon, utterly frustrated and distraught over her  marriage. Her husband, “Tony,” had decided married life was too burdensome and wanted  out. He had stopped going to church altogether. He traveled all week and was only home on  weekends, making it rather easy to distance himself from the family. Debbie’s question for  me was anything but typical, however. Because her husband had stopped going to church 

regularly but, when he did go, liked to go to a certain church she felt compromised the  Word, she thought maybe she and the children should go back to that compromising church  just in case he decided to go. 

So, I answered her question with a question. I said, “Let me understand this. You want to go  where you know the Word is compromised in case your husband decides to come back to  God, and to you, because that’s where he likes to go?” 

She hesitated, then said, “Well, when you put it that way…” I asked her how else I could put  it and she had no reply. I proceeded to advise her to let nothing stand in the way of her  relationship with Jesus. I advised her to not compromise on the true preaching of the Word  in order to accommodate her husband’s wayward decisions. I reminded her that if he goes  back to a compromised church, he’s really not going back to God. I advised her to pursue  Jesus, alone, pray for her husband and let Jesus handle him. I told her to never slow down  her own pursuit of Jesus for anyone, ever, and to go to a church which preaches the Word  without compromise. She was unsure if she was “allowed” to make such a decision. I  assured her she was very much allowed to make that decision and any other decision she  wanted to make. 

She felt unable to make a decision concerning her own spiritual well being, as well as that of  her children. What made her feel unable and unsure about making this decision was  patriarchy. She thought the husband was supposed to lead and at least approve and agree with anything she decided. This is simply not true and it left her in spiritual poverty.  

We women are free to choose Jesus and everything that goes with choosing Jesus. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength; there is no  reason to hesitate or question ourselves when it comes to pursuing Jesus, even if our  husbands will have none of it. 

My walk with Christ has always been mine. I cherish my relationship with Jesus and let no  one, not even my husband, get in the way of my pursuit of Jesus.  

Don’t let a patriarchal system force you into idol worship by putting your husband before Jesus. Anyone who comes between you and Jesus is an idol. Patriarchy leaves women in  spiritual poverty, unable to claim Jesus above all else.  

Patriarchy encourages idol worship.

~Tricia

How Patriarchy Stole my Education

 Patriarchy Stole My Education  

  

I went to Clarks Summit University, formally Baptist Bible College, at age 21, four years after  my high school graduation. After growing up in a tumultuous, violent home due to my  alcoholic father, I had no dreams for the future upon my high school graduation. A good  student academically with a gift for singing (I won the National School Choral Award for my  high school choir), what I lacked was confidence to think I, of all people, could go to college.  So, instead, I took a job as a waitress and just worked to no particular end. 

Then, at 18, I heard the gospel of Jesus Christ and my life was turned upside down. My  family initially rejected my decision and made life very difficult at home, so I moved out and  got an apartment and a better job. Without my own plan, God led in ways I had not  expected and after traveling with a Christian singing group for a year, I ended up at a  Christian camp in Lake Ann, Michigan. There, I met a married couple who were professors  at a Bible College in PA. I knew about the school and had had an ongoing letter-writing  relationship with a young man who attended there.  

By the time I went there, I had nothing to my name. I literally owned nothing but the  clothes in my small suitcase and my small purse. I had sold my car and other possessions to  travel with the group. I had not lived with my parents for three years and I had no income.  But, even though I had been on my own for three years, the financial director insisted on  using my father’s income on all my financial applications and pursuits. 

My dad, although an alcoholic, held down a very good job and his income put me in a  bracket that disqualified me from all financial aid. The financial director of the school simply  did not know how to process me as an individual. I had no choice but to go along with his  idea that I was “still” under my father’s household, and I had not a penny to my name. I  begged him to understand that I had lived on my own for more than three years, but I might  as well have been talking to the walls; he could not hear me and he would not process me  as an individual. 

When I say I had nothing, I mean nothing. I had a bar of soap I had bought in Michigan  through the camp and a small bottle of shampoo. I could not call my family for help. I did  my laundry by hand in the dorm bathroom, with shampoo, because I had no quarters for  the washer and dryers there. I quickly began typing papers with a borrowed typewriter for  other students so I could buy my necessary toiletries but I literally had no money for  anything else at all. I lived in the dorm and had the food voucher, so I could eat and sleep. I  scraped enough together from the typing jobs to get some cheap sheets and a blanket and  pillow. Many times, the typing jobs kept me up all night long. I struggled academically for  the first time in my life because the Bible was all new to me; I had not grown up in Sunday  school and heard even the simplest stories from the Bible. I floundered but seemed unable  to make my professors understand. 

My entire tuition for that year was put into a student loan and I had no resources to pay it  at the end of the year, so I had to go to work instead of return to school. I earned a simple 

one-year Bible certificate. Shortly after graduation, I got married and had eight kids and  have not yet been financially able to pursue further education.  

My point is this: Had the financial aid office treated me as the individual I was and not under  my father’s financial umbrella, I would have had many more options and qualified for  financial aid. 

The school’s system at the time was based on patriarchy. I was nothing if I did not claim my  dad’s income. I seemingly had no other resources. If his happened now, I would fight  harder, but at the time, I didn’t know how to fight such nonsense, but I knew it was  nonsense. 

Patriarchy left me in educational poverty.

A Dangerous Trend

I keep seeing a trend in churches and I find it disturbing and counterproductive to a Christian walk.

This trend is pastors instructing their flocks to study their sermon all week. They're not telling the people to study the passage that was preached......they're telling the people to study the sermon. Some have gone so far as to create study guides for their sermons and even use them the following week in a Sunday School lesson. Some are encouraging families to use their sermon in their family "devotions."

This is dangerous to anyone's Christian walk. Pastors who do this are openly encouraging their people to replace God's Word with their own. Please do not cooperate with such instruction. Please study only God's Word, not the words of your pastor. 

Does this mean I do not support the preaching of God's Word? NO! Of course not. The Bible has many references to the importance of preaching God's Word.

Romans 10:17 - Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God.

2 Timothy 4:1 - Preach the word, be instant in season and out of season

I Corinthians 1:18 - For the preaching of the cross is foolishness to them who perish but unto those which are saved it is the power of God.

Those verses are just a few references to preaching and I wholeheartedly endorse anyone who preaches the Word of God.

But, I'm not going to study your sermon. I'm going to study God's Word. Replacing the Word of God with a sermon is idolatry. Those who are telling you to do that have exalted their own words above God's Word. This is idolatry. Have no part of it. Reject this idea. 

This is the opposite of what the Bible tells us to do. The Bible instructs us to study the Word. We are never once told to study someone else's words. 

You have the power to stop this trend in its tracks. If you receive instruction to study the sermon instead of God's Word, don't do it. It's God's Word that is alive and powerful and sharper than any two-edged sword. 

Study God's Word. It will change your life no matter where you are in your walk with Christ.

~Tricia

Stroke - One Year Later

 One year ago today, April 5, 2020, I had a stroke. It severely weakened my right side and it has been a long recovery. I am 98% recovered and I want to tell you more about what helped me recover, and what my continued struggles are so perhaps you can learn something that will help you or you can gain compassion for someone going through a similar recovery. 

First and foremost, I thank God for His protection and for being ever-present to help in time of need. I cannot so much as breathe without Him and He did far more than help me breathe through this process. He protected me when I was in the hospital being neglected; He protected me from having a worse stroke; He gave me increased compassion for others who are suffering; He stayed stedfast when I could not so much as read His Word or pray. I could go on.

I have to give much, much credit to Leon and Carrie Knight, The Performance Doc, who gave my life back to me and helped in more ways than I can express. They cared so deeply about my recovery and helped every step of the way. To this day, we keep in touch and I consider them friends. The confidence they gave me was one of the highly motivating factors that led to my recovery. Thank you to Leon and Carrie!

I also needed help with my speech and swallowing. I was originally sent to a speech therapist but she offered no help whatsoever, so I was on my own. I found a lady on YouTube who helped me the most. She gave exercises that really helped, and helped quickly. I did them several times a day and they worked. Find that resource here.

I still struggle in a few areas. I still have Pseudobulbar Affect (PBA) and it is difficult. PBA is when one laughs or cries at potentially inappropriate times, or laughs and cries uncontrollably for no apparent reason. I've found that when I'm upset or facing a difficult conversation I will lose it and either begin to laugh or cry and, at that point, the conversation is really over for me. I've had a few people not take this well and I've had no ability to correct their misunderstanding of it. On another note, my husband wins all our arguments now because I start laughing or crying and that's that. I have found that if I know I'm going to face something emotional, if I have a good cry before hand, I do better at the time. It is better in that sense. It's still a challenge. It's like my emotions are incontinent....I can't control my response to things.

While my speaking voice is 100% healed, my singing voice is not. I used to sing soprano, but right after the stroke, I could not sing at all. Now I can sing, but I sing tenor. That's a big adjustment. Singing soprano is still too taxing.

My typing, aka keyboarding, is slower. Before the stroke, I did 90-95 words per minute. Now I'm going, maybe 55-60 words per minute. Very frustrating but at least I'm typing, 

Occasionally, I choke when drinking water or another liquid. I have found that using a straw gives a big advantage with drinks and I almost always use one now. This is the opposite of the advice a speech therapist gave me. She said never use a straw. That was not good advice. A straw is better in this situation. 

I can honestly say I am healthier now than before the stroke. I've lost 50 pounds, my energy has skyrocketed and I sleep so much better. My doctor put me on Hydroxychloroquine to avoid Covid19 and it has had tremendous health benefits for me; i.e. my arthritis cleared up as did my severe eczema. It helps the body with inflammation and lowers cholesterol as well. It's been good for me and I plan to keep taking it long after Covid is gone.

Overall, I'm pleased with my progress and I will never forget the helplessness I felt when it first happened. Thank you to all who have prayed for me and continue to do so. I had to blog about this a year later. Such an interesting anniversary to have!

~Tricia

Jimmy had a Horse

Jimmy had a horse. It was a beautiful horse. He rode the horse frequently and while she was high strung at times, overall she was the best horse Jimmy had ever owned. She was valued at $5,000.00.

One day, Jimmy's horse was stolen. Jimmy was devastated and worked with the authorities to find his horse and get her back.

They soon found Jimmy's horse and he was so relieved. He couldn't wait to get her back, ride her and treat her with her favorite foods. He was excited to make her world secure again.

But, as soon as they found her, they told Jimmy they were going to let the thief keep her. Not only that, but they were going to give the thief a certificate of ownership. Jimmy was stunned! "But," he told them, "she's my horse! She's worth over $5,000.00. She belongs to me."

"Not any more," the authorities told him. "She is now rightfully owned by the thief. You have to accept this and realize it's for your own good. If you don't accept this, you are a troublemaker and that will not be tolerated. Accept this, Jimmy, and move forward."

Jimmy, in disbelief, was ostracized by many of his friends, and even some family, because he just could not accept that a thief got away with stealing his horse and the authorities condoned it. Jimmy did not riot. Jimmy did not burn any buildings, shoot anyone, or destroy any statues. 

He tried to have his say; he tried to reclaim his horse, but no one in authority would listen. They told Jimmy he had to accept it, take the loss, and rejoice that the thief had gained such a fine horse.

And all his life, Jimmy knew his horse never did really belong to the thief.......and the thief knew it, too.

~Tricia