Wednesday, September 20, 2023
Expository Preaching - Guest Post by My Husband
Wednesday, September 6, 2023
The Priscilla Principle
The Priscilla Principle is now available in book form! Currently, you can get the Kindle version here. The paperback version will be available in the next couple days.
The Kindle version is easy and convenient to read and can be downloaded today!
The paperback version comes with around 50 blank, lined pages for notes and has a slightly different format than the Kindle version.
The versions are identical in content and you will refer back to your copy again and again as you search the Scriptures.
~Tricia
Thursday, August 31, 2023
Who is God Talking To? A Patriarchy Pitfall
A few years ago, I published a blog post called Patriarchy Promotes Idol Worship, and in that post, I said, "Don't let your husband become an idol. Pursue Jesus, with or without him. If he does not pursue Jesus as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue Jesus alone. Ideally, couples will pursue Him together, but each of us still has a personal responsibility to pursue Him ourselves, waiting on no one."
Wednesday, April 20, 2022
Tell Your Story
Tuesday, April 5, 2022
Two Years post Stroke
Today marks two full years since I had a stroke, or a series of strokes as some believe. I've learned a few things throughout this process. I can see God's grace throughout this entire process. What He has taught me through this is hard to put into words. Fortunately, I lost no theology through this....I only got stronger in my theology. His grace is sufficient.
Stroke recovery takes time. I am rather amazed at the time some of my recovery is taking. I've had to learn to be patient with myself. There are a few things I still struggle with.
I still can't sing. I used to sing soprano/first alto, now I can barely do tenor and one or two verses of a song is all I can handle. I can't sing at all in the mornings but can usually do a verse of a song later in the day. It's really a very sad thing for me and I miss singing so very much. A lady asked me just this past Sunday why I don't sing in church.
I still choke on liquids. Not every time I take a drink, but often enough to make me think about it when eating in public and limit my liquid intake.
I still have balance issues. I don't fall over - I did once, though, the day I came home from the hospital - funny story - but I'll often have to pause when walking and kind of reset myself to get a balance.
I lost my bearings for driving, although they are now returning and I can tell the difference. Having bearings is different than a sense of direction. It has taken two years for my bearings to start to come back. For the longest time, I had the feeling I was lost all the time when going places. Now, that feeling is less prominent.
I still struggle with Pseudo Bulbar Affect, or PBA. It's a laughing/crying disease which causes me to laugh or cry harder than a situation calls for. Any emotional situation can trigger it and I can never see it coming. Some have commented how wonderful it is to laugh so much, but I'm laughing when I don't feel like laughing. I mostly laugh but it manifests itself in crying, too, and it's hard and emotionally exhausting to not be able to stop. One doctor said it's like my emotions are incontinent. As funny as it sounds, it is no laughing matter! My husband wins all arguments now because I simply start laughing and am unable to stop. This morning, I started laughing so hard I had to stop and just laugh it out. I was supposed to be helping my husband with something, but, instead, I just stood there laughing and it was out of control. I was very frustrated but laughing hysterically.
Interest in things I love is returning. I'm just now, this spring, getting interested in photography again. I have quite a bit of photography equipment that has been collecting dust for two years. My motivation for it was gone. My motivation for writing and for many other things has been buried under the cloud the stroke brought. It's all starting to come back now and I'm loving it.
I regained the ability to swim last summer by going to the pool every day and relearning how. I've known how since childhood but my ability to swim was lost with the stroke. The doctor said it's because even though I knew how to swim, my brain no longer had a path to tell my arms and legs what to do. I had to relearn so I could create new paths for my brain to use to tell my body what to do.
I had to create new paths for many things. Things I did without thinking now had to be thought through step-by-step. For example, I knew how to brush my teeth, but my brain had to find a new path to tell my hands how to brush my teeth. This came about by telling myself what to do step-by-step repeatedly for many days, then actually doing it until I created enough muscle memory to do it without going over each step. It was exhausting but very effective.
As much time as my recovery is taking, it is encouraging to see and feel progress. I'm in better health now than before the stroke and have more energy, which is a wonderful feeling.
Thanks for reading and caring.
~Tricia
Saturday, November 13, 2021
Does Patriarchy Promote Idol Worship?
Does Patriarchy Promote Idol Worship?
Smith’s Bible Dictionary defines “idol” as, “An image or anything used as an object of worship in place of the true God.”
In a recent conversation on social media, I was confronted by a woman who strongly disagreed with a statement I made in which I said, “If your husband does not pursue Christ as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue without him.” She said my statement is unbiblical and flawed. She compared the statement to being non-submissive as though pursuing Christ could be construed as non-submissive. She went on to say, “I do look to Jesus but I also rest in my husband and look for his godly input.”
Another statement she called me out on was, “Look to Jesus, not your husband, for your faith and courage.” My statements were made in the context of helping abuse victims overcome the deeds of their abuser(s). However, I really think the context is irrelevant to this statement because looking to Jesus for our faith and courage is straight out of Scripture (Hebrews 12:2), yet this woman argued with me. She’s a Christian woman, yet she disagrees with the idea of looking to Jesus instead of our husbands for faith and courage.
We can look to other people for input….and we judge their qualifications to give input by God’s Word, but that does not change the fact that the Bible tells us to “Look to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith.” Because this woman equated my statement of looking to Jesus with never, ever getting my husband’s input, she felt I was teaching non-submissiveness. She said my advice was wrong and unbiblical.
She filters all through her husband. She said, “Yes, we look to Jesus first, but we also look to our husbands for our faith and courage. It was the seeming omission of the husband’s part in the wife’s spiritual growth that is not scriptural.” I find no “husband’s part in the wife’s spiritual growth” that she spoke of, other than a normal admonishment to edify one another as joint heirs of Christ.
This is idol worship.
This is extra-biblical teaching.
This is dangerous teaching.
And this sums up the poverty of patriarchy. That a wife would be discouraged from looking to Jesus in any way, shape or form speaks to the fact that patriarchy teaches, and even encourages, idol worship. The Bible says, “Look to Jesus…” This woman said, “Look to Jesus, but…” Big difference. There are no buts. The verses, Hebrews 12:1&2, come after chapter 11, which names and briefly describes many great witnesses of the faith. Chapter 12 opens with references to this great cloud of witnesses we are surrounded by and encourages us to “lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely and run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…”
This passage does not have a sub-message for wives. This passage is talking to every Christian…young, old, male, female, married, single, etc. There are no “buts…” included and
we are out of line to add one. There is no marital filter in Scripture. Jesus, not your husband, is your top priority. Seek Jesus. Follow Jesus. Look to Jesus. Jesus, not your husband, is the object of your focus. No portion of Scripture tells us to pursue a spouse over Jesus. It’s simply not taught. No portion of Scripture tells us to pursue Jesus through a spouse. This is man’s idea, rooted in patriarchy, bathed in idol worship and designed to draw us away from Jesus. Your primary relationship is your relationship with Christ. Let nothing get in the way of that relationship.
Give your relationship with Christ the most time, attention and energy. Your marriage will be better and stronger if you do. Many wives find themselves, out of the frustration of patriarchy, manipulating and plotting to control their husband. Time spent trying to manipulate a husband is time better spent learning of Jesus. Manipulation, a product of patriarchy, shows a complete lack of faith in God. Manipulation is nothing more than an effort to control. But, that is a nearly inevitable response because patriarchy is nothing more than an effort to control and it has the support of the church. Most independent thinking women struggle against it, not because they are rebellious or un-submissive, but because their walk with Christ comes into question and they are told to pursue their husband over pursuing Christ.
It’s better if Jesus is in control. When we pursue Christ above all else, all else falls into place.
Never compromise any part of your relationship with Christ for the sake of another person…. Including your husband.
Never slow your pursuit of Christ for the sake of anyone else…. Including your husband. Wait for no one.
Pursue Christ with gusto.
Patriarchy creates idol worship by encouraging wives to put their husband before Christ by way of a perceived “marital filter” which teaches wives that everything they do/think/feel/say has to go through their husband. Some have gone so far as to say a wife’s focus should be submission. Oh, my, no. A wife’s focus should be Jesus, only Jesus.
There’s an umbrella image floating around the internet and I’ve seen many Christians embrace and promote this image declaring it “the natural order of the family.” This image shows a large umbrella with Christ written on its opening. Under that is another umbrella which is labeled “husband.” Under that, yet another umbrella which is labeled “wife.” This image is disturbing to me because it puts the husband between the wife and Christ. The Bible tells us there is but one Mediator between God and people, the man Christ Jesus (I Timothy 2:5), but this widely embraced graphic teaches the opposite. This graphic openly teaches idol worship. It needs to be debunked. I am confused as to why so many Christians approve of this image.
“Debbie” called me on a Wednesday afternoon, utterly frustrated and distraught over her marriage. Her husband, “Tony,” had decided married life was too burdensome and wanted out. He had stopped going to church altogether. He traveled all week and was only home on weekends, making it rather easy to distance himself from the family. Debbie’s question for me was anything but typical, however. Because her husband had stopped going to church
regularly but, when he did go, liked to go to a certain church she felt compromised the Word, she thought maybe she and the children should go back to that compromising church just in case he decided to go.
So, I answered her question with a question. I said, “Let me understand this. You want to go where you know the Word is compromised in case your husband decides to come back to God, and to you, because that’s where he likes to go?”
She hesitated, then said, “Well, when you put it that way…” I asked her how else I could put it and she had no reply. I proceeded to advise her to let nothing stand in the way of her relationship with Jesus. I advised her to not compromise on the true preaching of the Word in order to accommodate her husband’s wayward decisions. I reminded her that if he goes back to a compromised church, he’s really not going back to God. I advised her to pursue Jesus, alone, pray for her husband and let Jesus handle him. I told her to never slow down her own pursuit of Jesus for anyone, ever, and to go to a church which preaches the Word without compromise. She was unsure if she was “allowed” to make such a decision. I assured her she was very much allowed to make that decision and any other decision she wanted to make.
She felt unable to make a decision concerning her own spiritual well being, as well as that of her children. What made her feel unable and unsure about making this decision was patriarchy. She thought the husband was supposed to lead and at least approve and agree with anything she decided. This is simply not true and it left her in spiritual poverty.
We women are free to choose Jesus and everything that goes with choosing Jesus. We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength; there is no reason to hesitate or question ourselves when it comes to pursuing Jesus, even if our husbands will have none of it.
My walk with Christ has always been mine. I cherish my relationship with Jesus and let no one, not even my husband, get in the way of my pursuit of Jesus.
Don’t let a patriarchal system force you into idol worship by putting your husband before Jesus. Anyone who comes between you and Jesus is an idol. Patriarchy leaves women in spiritual poverty, unable to claim Jesus above all else.
Patriarchy encourages idol worship.
~Tricia
Friday, November 5, 2021
How Patriarchy Stole my Education
Patriarchy Stole My Education
I went to Clarks Summit University, formally Baptist Bible College, at age 21, four years after my high school graduation. After growing up in a tumultuous, violent home due to my alcoholic father, I had no dreams for the future upon my high school graduation. A good student academically with a gift for singing (I won the National School Choral Award for my high school choir), what I lacked was confidence to think I, of all people, could go to college. So, instead, I took a job as a waitress and just worked to no particular end.
Then, at 18, I heard the gospel of Jesus Christ and my life was turned upside down. My family initially rejected my decision and made life very difficult at home, so I moved out and got an apartment and a better job. Without my own plan, God led in ways I had not expected and after traveling with a Christian singing group for a year, I ended up at a Christian camp in Lake Ann, Michigan. There, I met a married couple who were professors at a Bible College in PA. I knew about the school and had had an ongoing letter-writing relationship with a young man who attended there.
By the time I went there, I had nothing to my name. I literally owned nothing but the clothes in my small suitcase and my small purse. I had sold my car and other possessions to travel with the group. I had not lived with my parents for three years and I had no income. But, even though I had been on my own for three years, the financial director insisted on using my father’s income on all my financial applications and pursuits.
My dad, although an alcoholic, held down a very good job and his income put me in a bracket that disqualified me from all financial aid. The financial director of the school simply did not know how to process me as an individual. I had no choice but to go along with his idea that I was “still” under my father’s household, and I had not a penny to my name. I begged him to understand that I had lived on my own for more than three years, but I might as well have been talking to the walls; he could not hear me and he would not process me as an individual.
When I say I had nothing, I mean nothing. I had a bar of soap I had bought in Michigan through the camp and a small bottle of shampoo. I could not call my family for help. I did my laundry by hand in the dorm bathroom, with shampoo, because I had no quarters for the washer and dryers there. I quickly began typing papers with a borrowed typewriter for other students so I could buy my necessary toiletries but I literally had no money for anything else at all. I lived in the dorm and had the food voucher, so I could eat and sleep. I scraped enough together from the typing jobs to get some cheap sheets and a blanket and pillow. Many times, the typing jobs kept me up all night long. I struggled academically for the first time in my life because the Bible was all new to me; I had not grown up in Sunday school and heard even the simplest stories from the Bible. I floundered but seemed unable to make my professors understand.
My entire tuition for that year was put into a student loan and I had no resources to pay it at the end of the year, so I had to go to work instead of return to school. I earned a simple
one-year Bible certificate. Shortly after graduation, I got married and had eight kids and have not yet been financially able to pursue further education.
My point is this: Had the financial aid office treated me as the individual I was and not under my father’s financial umbrella, I would have had many more options and qualified for financial aid.
The school’s system at the time was based on patriarchy. I was nothing if I did not claim my dad’s income. I seemingly had no other resources. If his happened now, I would fight harder, but at the time, I didn’t know how to fight such nonsense, but I knew it was nonsense.
Patriarchy left me in educational poverty.