Tell Your Story

Recently, a young woman I know found out that her abuser, a pastor, leader in the church, and missionary, had died. She had mixed emotions about it because she had never had the opportunity to get justice.....and now she can't because he died. She wasn't sure there were other victims. She can be sure there were. Abusers don't stop with one victim. Never.

I hope she finds the strength to tell her story. Those other victims need to hear it. They need to know they are not alone and that the future offers hope because of Jesus Christ. 

I was recently dismissed when I tried to tell one of my stories. I was told that it was not necessary to tell what happened because "everyone has stories" and we need to focus on other things.

But, telling the stories is so important. Here's why:

For someone who has been abused, telling their story adds to and aids in the healing process. It's therapeutic for them to tell their story. It helps them process it and the effect it had on them. Being able to articulate it gives them power. The more they tell it, the more powerful over it they become. If you will listen and let them tell their story, you are a hero.

Telling your story helps other victims. If you are able to articulate your story, that is a victory in and of itself and other abuse victims need to see and hear that you can tell what happened to you. There is power in hearing someone else's story because it gives hope to the hearer. 

Your story can help other abuse victims process what happened to them. Getting out of an abusive situation does not put an end to what an abuse victim has to deal with. Memories are strong. Dreams that were shattered because of abuse take time to rebuild. Safety and trust have to be regained. Seeing you be able to tell your story while no longer living under the power of the abuser is mighty medicine for other victims. 

God heals all abuse and victims need to hear how God healed your abuse so they can have confidence He will heal theirs. Coming off abuse, a victim often feels hopeless and is filled with despair. Hearing your story gives them that spark of hope that will eventually end their despair.

Telling your story breaks the shroud of silence that is essential for abuse to keep happening. All abusers depend on the silence of their victims. When you tell your story, you are smashing one of the most important tools and abuser has, silence.  

Sometimes you will try to tell your story to someone and they will dismiss you and not let you. When that happens - and it will happen - move on. That person will not be part of your healing. It's best to move on quickly and realize your relationship with that person will remain surface. While that may initially hurt because you thought you could be closer to that person, it's best to see the reality right away and move on quickly. You can still be friends with that person, but it will be more of a shallow friendship because you can't share your whole heart.

Tell your story.

Tell your story again and again. 

As much as you need to, tell your story. 

Those who will listen will have a huge part in your healing.

~Tricia