Monday, June 6, 2011

Let Go Of Him!

My husband is a grown man.  One day, this grown man was eating a dish of chocolate ice cream.  The way my husband eats chocolate ice cream, this could be any given day.  Once, someone with us didn't think he should be eating so much chocolate, so that person said, "Tricia, why do you let him eat all that chocolate?"

I replied, very quickly, "Let him?  Oh, no. I don't tell him what to eat!  He's a grown man, he gets to eat what he wants."

This person was shocked at my answer and wasn't happy that I wasn't going to tell my husband what to eat.  Hmmm.  I've had similar encounters that begin with "Tricia, why do you let him........"  People, I don't "let" my husband do anything nor do I prevent him from doing anything!  He's a grown man and gets to do what he wants.  I believe this idea of me "letting" him do things or not letting him do things stems from the fact that I'm his wife.  But, I can't find anything in the world, let alone Scripture, that says being his wife means I'm his life manager.  Uh, uh; no way; not me. I have enough trouble managing my own life, let alone his!

But, I do have to admit, this ice cream encounter made me aware and I began to make observations.  Over the years, I've observed a few patterns in the lives of married people I've been around.  A startling realization was that a lot of women take it upon themselves to be their husband's life manager as soon as they say "I do!" And those husbands are letting them!

Ladies, let go of him!  Let him manage his own life.  The meaning of "helpmeet" is not "life manager."  It's a helper fit for him. If you do a Biblical word search of the word helpmeet, you will discover that the word is used mostly in a military context.  A fellow soldier.  A comrade.  No soldier needs his comrades telling him what or how much to eat, what time he should be home, how long he gets to play golf or any other thing.

Let go of him!  I once gave a devotional at a wedding shower and I spoke of this very thing.  One of my points was that it's not our job as wives to change our husbands or make them into the men they "ought" to be. The Holy Spirit of God is perfectly capable of doing just that.  Our job in marriage is to look to Jesus, The Author and Finisher of our faith.  Turn your eyes upon Jesus.  Only.

When we get married and wake up one day and realize that our "Prince Charming" suddenly has flaws that were certainly not there before, we need to look to Jesus.  Prince Charming did not suddenly develop new behaviors. On the contrary, our rose-colored glasses simply got whitewashed and we saw reality instead of roses.  Jesus knew about those flaws long before you did and He has already developed His plan to sanctify Prince Charming, without your intervention.

So, let go of him.  Look to Jesus, let your husband live his own life, and I guarantee you will have a much happier husband.  Oh, and if you're worried that he might not choose you over his other activities, remember that he chose you in first place and will choose you over and over again.  He might want some ice cream first.

~Tricia

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