But, I realized I have to. I am overwhelmed by the number of marriages in trouble because of patriarchy. It simply doesn't work. It doesn't work because it is man's design, not God's. It doesn't work because it puts men before God. This is idol worship. Anything that comes between you and your Savior is an idol, even if it's your husband. If a wife stops or even pauses or slows her pursuit of Jesus because she's looking for her husband's input or waiting for his "approval" of her pursuit, she's making her husband an idol.
Patriarchy promotes idol worship by believing and teaching that a married woman must filter her Christian walk, experience and relationship with God through her husband. This is not a good practice. God is a personal Savior. He is an individual Savior. This goes contrary to the teachings of patriarchy. Who God is goes contrary to what patriarchy teaches. Here are a few specifics:
Teachings of patriarchy support a "priesthood" of fathers, putting a wife under an earthly priest. This is widely supported by many "fundamental" churches, but it is wrong because:
The Bible teaches the priesthood of all believers. 1 Peter 2:5 says, "You also, as living stones, are built up into a spiritual house, a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ."
This verse is not written to men only. Women are also built up into a spiritual house, a holy priesthood. Let no one take this away from you. You are a priest who has direct access to the Most High God. Supporters of patriarchy will tell you otherwise. They will openly teach that your husband has actual responsibility for your spiritual walk. This contradicts Scripture.
The Bible teaches that we are each individually responsible for the "working out of our own salvation." Philippians 2:12 proclaims, "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling."
Again, God did not write a separate command for women; He's talking to us all, female and male, young and old, rich and poor.....everyone is to work out their own salvation. "Working out our own salvation" does not mean we work for our salvation, it means we work out what it looks like in our individual lives. Again, there is not a separate entry for women; we are all one in Christ.
The Bible teaches that there is one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus. I Timothy 2:5 states, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus;"
The Bible is so clear on these points and their contexts bear it out. However, those who believe in and teach patriarchy have to compromise these verses to fit their narrative. Any time we compromise God's Word to fit our own narrative, we are rewriting God's Word to suit ourselves. If we rewrite God's Word to suit ourselves, we are creating a man-made version of the Word, and this is bad.
Know that God's Word will never contradict Itself.
If one passage of Scripture seems to contradict another, one of them is being misinterpreted.
Finally, Galatians 3:28 sums it all up with, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Don't let your husband become an idol. Pursue Jesus, with or without Him. If he does not pursue Jesus as strongly as you, leave him in the dust and pursue Jesus alone. Ideally, couples will pursue Him together, but each of us still has a personal responsibility to pursue Him ourselves, waiting on no one.