Monday, November 14, 2011

Conditioning

We get conditioned to certain behaviors and that conditioning leads to expectation. Expectation, if properly used, can lead to great success.  But, it starts with conditioning.  Conditioning also has a dark side. Abusers know this.

As parents, most of us condition our children to believe they can be anything they want when they grow up. We encourage them to try their wings, to dream big, to create all they want and to learn.  This is a form of conditioning.  Most conditioning is thought of in a positive light.  We condition our hair for a better result. We condition our bodies to perform better athletically. We condition our mind to learn better by studying.

But, there's another type of conditioning we need to be wary of.  Negative conditioning.  This type of conditioning is so subtle that many people have no idea they are being conditioned to fail.  There are many types of negative conditioning, but for today's blog post, I want to focus on one particular aspect of negative conditioning:  Economic

Economic Negative Conditioning is Economic Abuse.

Here's how it works:  First, an appealing scene has to be created.  Often, I've seen "ministry" as the chosen vehicle of economic abuse.  The abuser creates a "ministry" mindset that makes it hard for the abused person to argue with.  If what he's doing is "ministry," it's hard to argue with that without seeming unspiritual.  This is economic abuse paired with spiritual abuse.  Often, abusers have to pair different types of abuse together to make one or the other seem plausible.

Once an abuser establishes his or her avenue of abuse, such as using "ministry" as a front, they have successfully set the stage for their next move.  In the name of "ministry" one can't want financial gain, economic success or nicer things.  If an abuser sets his victim up (conditioning) to expect less, they are free to be lazy, have other priorities, not work hard and then pursue their own interests outside of their financial responsibilities to the person they are abusing.  Inevitably, the abuser is doing this to someone they are financially responsible for.

Conditioning a person for economic abuse happens over time.  The abuser can't spring this on a person all at once; they take their time and patiently repeat certain ideas and expectations to the point where, over time, the victim automatically falls in line with the negative way of thinking they are being conditioned toward!  It's a process that abusive people have often perfected and rarely does a victim even know they are a victim until years into it when they wake up one day and decide they are tired of struggling.

Enough said for now.  Economic abuse is rampant among abusive people.  If you suspect you are in an economically abusive situation or relationship, tell someone you trust.  They may already suspect the reality of this in your life, and you speaking out will confirm it.  Recognition of abuse is the first step in stopping abuse.

~Tricia

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