Dear Duggars: It Wasn't the Devil

Because the Duggar children are now launching a reality TV show of their own, they are doing promotional teasers in hopes of getting enough viewers to keep their show on the air. In these promotional teasers, they are often addressing their brother, Josh's, infidelity, pornography addiction and other sins which caused the cancellation of their other show. One can't really blame them for wanting their TV show to continue because few things give as much income for so little effort. That lifestyle is very hard to duplicate with regular employment. I'm especially happy that Anna, Josh's wife, will be on the new show because her income possibilities are the lowest given her four children and a husband who has been away for months. I'm happy to see she has an income, but it's unfortunate it's only because of her involvement with her in-laws' questionable lifestyles.

Back to today's blog topic: Josh's brother, John David, said, "The devil took his best shot," when asked about his older brother's sinful lifestyle. Read the full statement here.

We have to cry out against that. It was not the devil. Our Bibles clearly tell us in James 1:14 that a person sins when they are drawn away of their own lust and enticed.

It wasn't the devil,

It was Josh.

Saying the devil took his best shot is an attempt to minimize and draw attention away from the real issue.

I wish the Duggars would not minimize this sin. Daughter Jessa often says, "We're not perfect..."

No one outside the Duggar family has said they are perfect. Disclaiming perfection is also an attempt to minimize and draw attention away from the real issue. "Perfect" is a term only a Duggar has used to describe themselves. Everyone else already knows that no one on the planet is perfect. Perfect is not the goal, but the Duggars use it as their measuring stick so they can say, "Oh, look! We're not perfect!" while they promote a sexual climate in the Name of our Holy God and call themselves godly.

Putting Josh's sin on the devil and minimizing their ungodly lifestyle as "not perfect" is the best way to get and keep a reality TV show. Clearly it works for them.

Don't fall for this lie. Even the secular world knows better and is more honest about this.

Forgiveness of Josh doesn't have to be justified. They can forgive him and give him a chance to regain trust, but they're not doing him any favors by putting his sinful choices on the devil or by disclaiming perfection. He has to own them. He has an Advocate in Christ, as we all do, but to misuse that advocacy by lying and continually minimizing sin is not the path to true restoration.

I wonder how long before the next Duggar scandal will break. They certainly promote a climate supporting sin, so it's only just a matter of time.

Articles referring to the Duggars often refer to them as "ultraconservative," and I cringe whenever I read that because they are far from conservative and certainly not "ultra" conservative. Their wardrobe is a front; it makes them appear conservative while they are truly anything but. Listen to the father, Jim Bob Duggar. Listen to him talk openly about his daughters' sex lives. Listen to him refer to sex or the female anatomy in every single episode without fail. Just listen. Their talk reveals who they really are. All you have to do is listen and you will know.

Minimizing language is so common in Christian circles that victims often feel guilty trying to make others aware of abuse they've suffered at the hands of some Christian person. This is one reason it took so long for Bill Gothard's victims to come forward.

Just as soon as I stop getting cries for help from the victims of these types, I will stop blogging about it. As long as the victims continue, my blogging about it will continue.

~Tricia

Biblical Principles Don't Work

For years, Jim and Michelle Duggar told the reality TV world that they rear their children by Biblical principles and they said, more than once, that these principles work to produce godly children.

Then their world caved in when their oldest son's sins of pornography, adultery, lying and hypocrisy surfaced. What happened to the Biblical principles they reared him by? Many people have said, "No one is perfect," but do we really want to bypass what's going on by hiding behind our own sin and declaring what is already obvious?

Biblical principles don't work when it comes to human hearts. Biblical principles are man-made, feed the ego, fuel sin and give those who practice them a false sense of godliness. When I hear someone say they practice Biblical principles for living and raising a family, I cringe.

Now, I know I've created The Priscilla Principle, so this blog post might make me sound like a hypocrite, but I'm not advocating living by Biblical principles with The Priscilla Principle, it's simply a Bible study guide that is meant to keep the Scripture the center of your Bible study instead of mankind's ideas. The Priscilla Principle is not a set of principles to live by, it's simply a Bible study method that discards mankind's ideas about what the Bible says. There is no comparison to the "Biblical principles" the Duggars tout. The Priscilla Principle does not apply any "principles to live by" to your life. It won't tell you what to wear, how to style your hair, whether you should watch TV or not, etc.

I've seen Biblical principles fail before the Duggar scandal hit. I once had a friend who believed Biblical principles could not fail. She thought that as long as she lived by this set of principles which she believed came from the Bible, she would not fail, her kids would not fail and a victorious life would be hers. Trouble is, my friend and all her family members were sinners. She forgot about that when she adopted these Biblical principles and she devoted her entire life to living by these principles.

When she and I talked about these things, she often put these principles out there and would tell me that as long as she raised her kids by these principles, they would grow up to be godly. She said they couldn't fail because God cannot fail and since they lived by "His" principles, they could not fail. She warned me to raise my kids by Biblical principles.

She wore the skirts. She banned TV. She deprived herself of nice things in the name of humility. She reveled in suffering inconvenience, feeling super godly. When my stove broke once during a visit from her and her family, she said, "Oh! You're just like a missionary, suffering for Jesus!" I called a repair man and ended my "suffering." She spiritualized everything she heard, did, said and felt. She was convinced her life was godly and that her kids and husband were godly and that everything they did would see wild success and they would win many, many people to Christ through their victorious, principled living.

Then one day, she locked herself in a shed and set it on fire.
Utter failure. No return. I was devastated and grieve not having her in my life to this day.

If we don't live by Biblical principles, how do we live?

We have to throw away Biblical principles and the man-made standards we think so highly of.
We have to run to the Gospel every single day.

I recently heard a missionary woman give a testimony about her ministry. She said, "We love getting together for Bible studies. I mean, so many times we don't even open a Bible, we just talk about last week's sermon and what we learned from it. I mean, do we really need more Bible knowledge? No! We just need to apply what we've already learned."

I was taken aback. I applaud this woman's lack of hypocrisy in publicly stating that she no longer needs Bible knowledge and doesn't open her Bible at a Bible study, but she's fully embraced Secular Humanism and is headed for a bad fail.

After we throw away Biblical principles, we are free to throw ourselves on the mercy of our Christ and, like Isaiah in Isaiah 6:5, and realize our constant need for the Gospel of God. We need to realize that when James says in James 1:14 that "a person sins when they are drawn away by their own lust and enticed," he's telling the truth and no amount of modesty is going to change that. We have to throw ourselves on the mercy of Christ and not Biblical principles.

I firmly believe Biblical principles, and modern "Bible study books" that teach them, are Secular Humanism in practice. These principles have opened the door of our churches to Secular Humanism and it has come in and gotten very comfortable. It has gotten so comfortable that people don't even recognize it. Instead, they look for principles in the lives of others and even call them out if they think they are not living by what they think are Biblical principles.

The Duggars live by Bill Gothard's principles and Bill has gotten himself into a lot of trouble by sexually harassing and molesting young women repeatedly for years. This is further evidence of the pitfall of perceived Biblical principles.

People cannot create godliness through what they think are Biblical principles.
No matter how many times you post your Bible study online for all to see, it will not produce godliness in you.
We are all without hope in ourselves, ready to lock the shed door and set it on fire.
There is only hope in Jesus Christ, the Giver of life.

Read your Bible.
Observe what It says without speculation.
Interpret It in Its own context without speculation.
Pray.

Do not, I repeat, do not apply It to your life. The Holy Spirit does not need your help or input.

This burden to rid the church of Secular Humanism often fuels my blogging in hopes that I can help prevent another devastating loss like that of my dear friend who ended her life in the fiery shed.

Biblical principles are Secular Humanism. They need to be rejected in favor of the Gospel.
~Tricia

Why I Won't Shut Up about the Duggars

Some people are ready to move on from the Duggar scandal, forgive and forget and put them back on the air. There's a petition people are circulating to get TLC to put them back on the air. In that petition, it states, "The world needs more families like the Duggars." No, it really doesn't.

I am not so hasty. The Duggars' scandal is deeper than even the atrocities committed against the young women Josh sexually assaulted. It's representative of a deeper problem within evangelical churches. This article by Lyz Lenz, explains the deeper problem well.

The solution is not going to come from changing policy within evangelical churches. The solution is going to come from women standing up for themselves and no longer tolerating abuse and being forced to protect abusers. Lyz Lenz's article explains how women are blamed and held responsible for much of male abuse. She's right and this is insane.

The solution to stopping abuse within evangelical churches is for women to rise up and stop it.

We are daughters of Abraham. Since when does a daughter of Abraham have to stand down?

We have to say a collective "NO" when it comes to abuse of all kinds.

We are the only ones who can stop this epidemic in our churches.

When abuse happens and we are told to forgive and the abuser gets off with a simple apology, we have to push for more.

As Lyz Lenz said in her article, "Abusive personalities seek closed systems in which to abuse, and the mainstream Evangelical church provides that in spades." And she is right. We women have to reject the idea of a closed system and make the decision that no abuse will be hidden, that no abuse will go unreported, that no abuse will be allowed to continue and that abusers do not get off with a simple apology.

No doubt, God is full of mercy, grace and truth. He is also full of justice. Those who let a sex offender off with a simple apology are practicing cheap grace. Grace is free, but it was not cheap.

We women have power to stop abuse in our churches. It's high time we exercised that power.

We can't allow ourselves to be part of the problem....part of a system that covers up, minimizes and allows this abuse to continue.

Let no one silence you as you speak out to stop abuse. As a daughter of Abraham, no one has the power or authority to stop you from stopping abuse.

~Tricia

Why I'm Not Surprised by Duggar Family Secrets

No, I am not one bit surprised by the recently-revealed-after-a-decade-of-cover-up-sins of Josh Duggar. I am not surprised because he comes by it pretty naturally. He was taught to disrespect women by his parents. His own father, Jim Bob Duggar, has openly admitted that he cannot even hug his own daughters in a normal hug; he has to do a side hug. Have you noticed, like I have, that he only gives side hugs to his sons as well? When asked about this by a producer on their TLC show, Jim Bob smiled and stumbled over his words, finally muttering something about "the front" and "you can figure it out." A side hug testifies to the fact that all women are seen as sexual objects by Jim Bob Duggar. He passed this on to his sons.

Do you think this is Godly? Jim Bob says it is. Think again. Word to the wise: When someone tells you they are godly, they are certainly not. Jim Bob does this in the name of "godliness." Eww.

Jim Bob cannot get through even one episode of the TLC show without making some inappropriate sexual remark and/or innuendo, even toward his own daughters. "Hey, Hey, Hey....."

Clearly, despite his claims otherwise, the man's mind is in the gutter, not on God. I haven't allowed my kids to watch their show in a very long time because Jim Bob is so inappropriate.

So, no I am not at all surprised by Josh Duggar's actions, not shocked by the lies and cover-up. I will be shocked if he's the only one.

The Duggars have set their daughters up for abuse in every way. Abuse relies heavily on unspoken rules. While the Duggars will verbally say that the kids can make their own choices, not one of them chooses anything other than what their parents have silently dictated. The silent pressure is immense. All the boys are taught to disrespect women, even while their parents say things to the contrary. Kids will emulate more of what you do than what you say.

Observations in point:

All the girls wear their hair pretty much the same. (Not unlike the FLDS women in the CO cult.) They learned that from Bill Gothard, one of the most noted sex offenders in "the church" today. He taught them that this hair style is godly and will force young men to look at their eyes and not other parts of them. However, this is not true. Their hairstyle is irrelevant to what young men might or might not notice. Gothard finds this hairstyle becoming, so he stamped it godly and they bought into it.

All the girls are taught to "keep sweet" at all times. They have said this on their show. They claim it's godly to "keep sweet." The FLDS cult teaches the same, exact thing with the same, exact wording. I see a pattern here.

All the girls are required to wear skirts at all times. It does not matter what they are doing, they have to wear a skirt. If riding a horse, wear a skirt. If fighting fires, wear a skirt under the suit. Better yet, alter the uniform to be a skirt instead of pants. They teach that wearing skirts is godlier than other ways of dressing. The Bible does not teach this; the Duggars do because they learned this from sex offender, Bill Gothard. The truth is, a girl is much easier to molest if wearing a skirt. That's why Bill Gothard required it. The Duggars have adopted sexual predator practices that make their girls vulnerable, yet they call them "Biblical principles." Nothing could be further from the truth. Wearing of skirts limits girls; limiting girls keeps them "in their place;" keeping them "in their place" makes them vulnerable to predators.

All the girls are required to wear a smile at all times. On their show, a sign saying something like, "You're not fully dressed unless you're wearing a smile," hanging in the girl's bedroom was shown in more than one episode. No matter what you feel, you smile. This is unbiblical. God does not require us to always smile.

All behavior and dress modifications are put on the girls, not so many on the boys. This is typical of oppressive societies. Not one cult or society of abuse has succeeded without taming the women first. ISIS tames their women by making them wear burkahs and having strict behavioral rules for them, including what time they can go outside, if they can go outside at all. The FLDS tames their women by giving them a strict dress code, right down to their hairstyle, and strict gender roles.

I have no doubt the Duggars will try to make themselves the victims here....all abusers do. This is another mark of an abuser; they must become the victim or their abuse won't work. They will try to be victims, accusing those of us who have our voice about this to be abusers ourselves.

No, Michelle and Jim Bob, we are not the abusers. You are not victims. The crimes known were committed by your son. Your crime is in covering it up, lying to the public about what happened, allowing it to happen repeatedly in your own home under your own roof and not protecting those kids from a predator who lived down the hall. We are not abusers to want justice for these girls. Wanting protection for the remaining kids is not a victimization of you. You have your reward. God is not pleased. Had you not covered this up, had you properly dealt with this from the start, your son might not have to endure what's happening to him now, in the press, in the loss of his job, etc.

In this sense, Josh, himself, is a victim. He was taught that girls are property, that they cannot lead, that he is to be the "family priest," which is completely unbiblical in all ways. So, as a teen, he clearly saw those girls as property he could use in any way he wanted. He is a victim of his parents' twisted Bible understanding. Do you see how far twisting the Scriptures can go? This is one reason I am so completely adamant about studying the Bible without looking at anyone else's interpretation. We all must study the Scriptures for ourselves to see if what we are being taught is true.

You might say that he has apologized and the girls have forgiven him. Ok, good. But, what he did was a felony and what his parents did in covering it up and lying about it was just as bad. More than an apology is required here. Those of us who care about young girls who are abused are livid, not only about the crimes committed against them, but the cover up of those crimes. Where is their protection? They are still living under the same set of silent rules, not daring to go against the silence for even a minute.

Speak for the victims. The girls who were abused might say they are ok. They might tell you they have forgiven their abuser. They are not ok; they are not going to be ok unless they get help and have a voice.

And, yet, Josh has apologized, resigned his position with the Family Research Council and issued a statement, which you can read here. You might wonder why I still posted this blog post since the issue appears to be dealt with. Well, read their statements. Neither Josh or his parents address the pain of the victims in their statements. They talk about how Josh's life was changed with the pretense of counseling he did not receive, but no one focused on the victims at all! Josh talked about how he almost ruined his own life, but did not own ruining the lives of so many young girls. If he had been involved in porn, then he could talk about almost ruining his own life and that would suffice. However, he did not dabble in porn (that we know of), he physically and literally molested real, live young girls!

Their statements also did not address the fact that they lied to us all for more than a decade. They lied to TLC; they lied to police; they lied to you.

Their statements minimized his grave, life-altering abuses to "past teenage mistakes." That wording is so important because you have to remember that it was 1) in the past 2) done while he was a teenager and 3) mistakes, not sins. To call these molestations of young girls mistakes minimizes the sin, thus minimizes the impact on the victims. Sexual sin is always minimized in oppressive situations. And, sexual sin is always present in oppressive situations. The wording "past teenage mistakes" is an attempt to minimize the truth.

Any attempt to minimize sin while not acknowledging pain inflicted on a victim is wrong.

This is sickening.
It has been sickening to me for a very long time.
I specifically prayed for the abuse I suspected to be openly revealed.
God has answered my prayers.
It's time for those kids to be protected.

Josh can certainly be forgiven; I am not without compassion. However, I do not believe his parents are doing what is best for him even now because they covered this up, failed to protect other victims, then lied to us all. I wonder if they are going to apologize for all that. Isn't it a crime to lie to police? What happens to that?

Josh needs real counseling, not just a time away doing hard labor. He needs counseling outside the Bill Gothard world they live in. His victims also need counseling and they need it outside the world they live in. They need to be taught to read and interpret the Bible for themselves so they will have power to overcome this abuse and not be a future victim.

A voice for the victims, whether they are aware they need it or not,
~Tricia