The First of the Last (My Top 10 Favorite things about Home Schooling)

Today is the first day of our last year of home schooling. This year will complete 29 years of home educating my offspring.

When I started, I had four kids. My oldest was 5 years old, my youngest 8 months. I started our home school in 1987, a time when not that many people were home schooling. We got a lot of questions if we were out during the day. I welcomed every question and was happy to answer them because I felt very privileged to be able to home school.

Learning came naturally to all my kids, which made home schooling one of the easiest things I've ever done. I learned early on that each one of the kids learned best at their own pace and this took all the pressure off to meet some criteria set by the world. I let them learn their way whenever I could. They naturally fell into a learning routine that really set the pace for all the kids as they came along and grew.

Learning became part of life, not limited to school hours. We learned how to incorporate official learning into everything we did, giving credit-worthy validity to every day. On trips, they learned to read a map and navigate. They learned to observe as we played games on the road with the landscape around us, along with other cars and road signs. They learned harmony as we sang on road trips.

In light of all this, and in light of the blog post I wrote a few years ago about 25 things I learned in 25 years of home schooling, I want to share my top ten favorite things about home schooling:

1. I got to spend all day every day with my kids, my favorite people on the planet.

2. My kids learned to be independent thinkers, not ones that go along with the herd. I think this is one major key to anyone's success.

3. We loved not being bound by a school schedule. We could vacation while the rest of the world went to school.

4. Learning is a lifestyle, not at all limited to the formal class room.

5. No homework, ever.

6. We got to teach theology with no restrictions.

7. The kids got to interact more with adults than with kids their own age. This is a huge benefit to home schooling.

8. The kids were able to pursue their own interests and I could tailor their curriculum to meet their individual needs.

9. The kids got school credit for making dinner or baking cookies.

10. No school on birthdays.

There you have it, my top 10 favorite things about home schooling.
As I made this list, I had to force myself to keep the list to 10 things because there are many, many more things I love about home schooling.
Next September, it will be very odd for me to not be starting classes yet again.
So, this last year of our home school, I will savor every moment, as I've tried to do for the past 28 years.
If you're thinking about home schooling, by all means, do it.
~Tricia

Goodbye My Friend

There are so few people who know how to be real friends. I've had people in my life who called themselves friends, but when times got tough or we disagreed on something, they flew away, unable to hold true to their own declaration of friendship.

In the summer of 1977, I met Eldon Brock. He was the director of the Regular Baptist Camp of Lake Ann, Michigan, and I went there as a counselor. Before I got there, I had never been to camp before in my life. I had no idea how to be a camper, let alone a counselor, but Eldon believed in me because of my testimony of faith in Jesus Christ. Most of the people in our circles knew my husband long before they met me, but that wasn't true of Eldon Brock. I knew him first.

A few incidents stand out from my summer at Lake Ann, but nothing more drastically than the fact that Eldon Brock believed in me. He listened to me. I'm talking about looking me in the eye and really listening as though what I had to say had validity. He listened to every word I ever said to him as though he had all the time in the world just for me.

This blew me away and I have never forgotten. He was the camp director, I was nearly a waif, new in my Christian walk and not even knowing the "language" of Christianity, yet he was so incredibly kind. He treated me as an equal, not someone under him. My respect for him was sealed at Lake Ann.

Life gets full and busy and I moved on from Lake Ann, got married and had a couple quivers full of children. But, I have never forgotten how kind Eldon Brock was to me.

In the past few years, my husband got to experience a deep friendship with Eldon through E-TEM, Ethnic to Ethnic Ministries, which Eldon founded. David serves on the board of directors for E-TEM and so often, the two of them would have long, encouraging phone calls. Eldon called him just two weeks before he died and further encouraged us both through that phone call.

We got the email from Eldon's daughter, Eldonna, on August 25 that he had died. He'd known his time was coming and told us. I've never known that people could die with such grace.
I miss him already.
He had the youngest, most energetic vision for ministry I have ever seen.
He never grew tired of truly listening.
What a rare, rare friend, indeed.
Goodbye for now, my friend. We will see you again.
Until then, I will miss you and your constantly positive influence in my life.
~Tricia

Biblical Principles Don't Work

For years, Jim and Michelle Duggar told the reality TV world that they rear their children by Biblical principles and they said, more than once, that these principles work to produce godly children.

Then their world caved in when their oldest son's sins of pornography, adultery, lying and hypocrisy surfaced. What happened to the Biblical principles they reared him by? Many people have said, "No one is perfect," but do we really want to bypass what's going on by hiding behind our own sin and declaring what is already obvious?

Biblical principles don't work when it comes to human hearts. Biblical principles are man-made, feed the ego, fuel sin and give those who practice them a false sense of godliness. When I hear someone say they practice Biblical principles for living and raising a family, I cringe.

Now, I know I've created The Priscilla Principle, so this blog post might make me sound like a hypocrite, but I'm not advocating living by Biblical principles with The Priscilla Principle, it's simply a Bible study guide that is meant to keep the Scripture the center of your Bible study instead of mankind's ideas. The Priscilla Principle is not a set of principles to live by, it's simply a Bible study method that discards mankind's ideas about what the Bible says. There is no comparison to the "Biblical principles" the Duggars tout. The Priscilla Principle does not apply any "principles to live by" to your life. It won't tell you what to wear, how to style your hair, whether you should watch TV or not, etc.

I've seen Biblical principles fail before the Duggar scandal hit. I once had a friend who believed Biblical principles could not fail. She thought that as long as she lived by this set of principles which she believed came from the Bible, she would not fail, her kids would not fail and a victorious life would be hers. Trouble is, my friend and all her family members were sinners. She forgot about that when she adopted these Biblical principles and she devoted her entire life to living by these principles.

When she and I talked about these things, she often put these principles out there and would tell me that as long as she raised her kids by these principles, they would grow up to be godly. She said they couldn't fail because God cannot fail and since they lived by "His" principles, they could not fail. She warned me to raise my kids by Biblical principles.

She wore the skirts. She banned TV. She deprived herself of nice things in the name of humility. She reveled in suffering inconvenience, feeling super godly. When my stove broke once during a visit from her and her family, she said, "Oh! You're just like a missionary, suffering for Jesus!" I called a repair man and ended my "suffering." She spiritualized everything she heard, did, said and felt. She was convinced her life was godly and that her kids and husband were godly and that everything they did would see wild success and they would win many, many people to Christ through their victorious, principled living.

Then one day, she locked herself in a shed and set it on fire.
Utter failure. No return. I was devastated and grieve not having her in my life to this day.

If we don't live by Biblical principles, how do we live?

We have to throw away Biblical principles and the man-made standards we think so highly of.
We have to run to the Gospel every single day.

I recently heard a missionary woman give a testimony about her ministry. She said, "We love getting together for Bible studies. I mean, so many times we don't even open a Bible, we just talk about last week's sermon and what we learned from it. I mean, do we really need more Bible knowledge? No! We just need to apply what we've already learned."

I was taken aback. I applaud this woman's lack of hypocrisy in publicly stating that she no longer needs Bible knowledge and doesn't open her Bible at a Bible study, but she's fully embraced Secular Humanism and is headed for a bad fail.

After we throw away Biblical principles, we are free to throw ourselves on the mercy of our Christ and, like Isaiah in Isaiah 6:5, and realize our constant need for the Gospel of God. We need to realize that when James says in James 1:14 that "a person sins when they are drawn away by their own lust and enticed," he's telling the truth and no amount of modesty is going to change that. We have to throw ourselves on the mercy of Christ and not Biblical principles.

I firmly believe Biblical principles, and modern "Bible study books" that teach them, are Secular Humanism in practice. These principles have opened the door of our churches to Secular Humanism and it has come in and gotten very comfortable. It has gotten so comfortable that people don't even recognize it. Instead, they look for principles in the lives of others and even call them out if they think they are not living by what they think are Biblical principles.

The Duggars live by Bill Gothard's principles and Bill has gotten himself into a lot of trouble by sexually harassing and molesting young women repeatedly for years. This is further evidence of the pitfall of perceived Biblical principles.

People cannot create godliness through what they think are Biblical principles.
No matter how many times you post your Bible study online for all to see, it will not produce godliness in you.
We are all without hope in ourselves, ready to lock the shed door and set it on fire.
There is only hope in Jesus Christ, the Giver of life.

Read your Bible.
Observe what It says without speculation.
Interpret It in Its own context without speculation.
Pray.

Do not, I repeat, do not apply It to your life. The Holy Spirit does not need your help or input.

This burden to rid the church of Secular Humanism often fuels my blogging in hopes that I can help prevent another devastating loss like that of my dear friend who ended her life in the fiery shed.

Biblical principles are Secular Humanism. They need to be rejected in favor of the Gospel.
~Tricia

Why Forgiveness Should Not be the Duggars' Focus

Whether Jessa Seewald's Instagram picture of the words of I John were related to her brother's sins of adultery and porn addiction or not, there seems to be a focus on forgiving him. This is problematic for a number of reasons.

Forgiveness, while it can be granted, should not be their focus. Their focus should be Anna and those kids. The only way for the Duggars to come out of all this not smelling like manure is to focus on Anna and the kids. You can bet Anna is not okay. This Facebook post by Jessica Krammes Kirkland sums it up wonderfully and I agree with her wholeheartedly. Click here to read the post.

I don't know Jessica but I commend her for writing this. She is absolutely right. She's 100% on target. We do a horrible disservice to our daughters when we minimize them. This is why forgiving Josh should not be the Duggars' focus. They ought to be focusing on Anna and those kids, only.

Forgiveness is a gift. 

Forgiveness cannot be demanded.

When a perpetrator demands forgiveness, he is further abusing his victim.

If you have watched the Duggars' reality TV show, you have seen Anna be a victim of their self-promoting focus before. Watch carefully. She has been minimized by this family, her childrens' needs have been secondary and she's had to put on her smile and act like everything is ok. Some episodes clearly show that everything was not ok with her. My heart has gone out to her from the start.

~Tricia

Warning! I Saw it coming and Signs of Abuse to Look For

Last night, my husband asked me if I'd seen the latest news about Josh Duggar. I had not. I have blogged about the Duggars before, so he knew of my interest in their false representation of Christianity, which I blogged to refute. The latest news of Josh's accounts at the infidelity website, AshleyMadison.com, was news to me, but not altogether a surprise.

I knew there was more. I believe there is still more than this, we just don't know it yet.

You can read his statement here. He made this statement after he was busted, which gives it less of an impact than it would have had if he had owned the sin a few months ago when he was hiding behind his youth in his other offenses.

As I said in another, related blog post, Josh comes by this behavior and tendency quite naturally, and not just because of his inborn sin nature, which we all share. He grew up in a climate of sexual abuse and sexual exploitation, given freely to him by his father. Even recently, Jim Duggar proved that he doesn't "get it" by making inappropriate remarks at a family friend's wedding.

He and wife, Michelle, further proved that they don't "get it" by stating, "...we are not a perfect family...."

We need to be aware of what this language means. When someone caught in the spotlight of their own sin reminds the world that they are not perfect, this is an attempt to deflect whatever shame, disgrace and humiliation they are feeling.

To claim imperfection is a minimization of sin.
Everyone knows that no one is perfect.
Stating the obvious is an attempt to deflect the sin.
Deflecting the sin is not dealing with the sin.

In his statement, Josh did refer to his behavior as "sin," which is accurate, but by the end of the statement it was a "bad example," and "personal failure." This is not terminology of repentance. Yes, it was a bad example and, yes, it was a personal failure, but it was and is so much more than that. Those are terms others can come to use once they work through the admission and forgiveness aspect of his sins. Those are not terms he, himself, or his family, should use.

Lest you think I'm unforgiving, don't be fooled. I do believe Josh's sins can be forgiven. Of course. Forgiveness is the foundation of our faith because those of us who believe Jesus is our Savior have experienced forgiveness first hand. Jesus says, many times, to people He personally interacted with, "Go and sin no more." He expected their lives to change. He never told them to stop having personal failures because personal failures are inevitable. He never told them to stop being a bad example because we humans are going to be bad examples at times. He told them to stop living their sinful lifestyle. He didn't mince words and neither should we when we deal with these things.

However, the Duggars' issues go further than Josh's infidelity. They go further than his lying. They go further than his hypocrisy.

Raising children in a sexual climate, as the Duggars have, is abuse.

The Duggars have claimed persecution through their various scandals, but they are wrong. They are not being persecuted for their faith. They have mocked faith, have mocked God and His Word.

They are reaping what they have sown.
It's sad.
It's heartbreaking.
It's sin.

World, this is not what Christianity looks like. The Duggars do not represent evangelical Christianity at all.

Evangelical Christianity does not have a dress code where the women are put into skirts for every single activity they ever do and boys must always, always wear long pants.
Evangelical Christianity does not have a hair style requirement in which girls have to have long, flowing hair and boys' hair has to be short and parted on one side.
Evangelical Christianity does not have a set of "Biblical principles" to live by.
Evangelical Christianity is Jesus Christ, God in the flesh, crucified, dead, buried and risen again.

Because I often spot sex abusers within the walls of Christianity before others, I have often been asked how I know. There are a few things to look for.

1. People in "ministry" who name their ministry after themselves. This is rampant. This is a warning sign of something not so Godly. Steer clear. I do.
2. People who often use language that deflects negative attention off themselves. Deflecting language is very popular and often hard to recognize because it can often bring up guilt, making you feel as though you can't say anything because "after all, they admitted they are not perfect." "I'm not perfect" does not work for me.
3. Men who have strict rules and roles for women. One of the most important things a sexual predator or abuser needs to do is reign in the women in his life (or society). These men are not Christ-like. Jesus did not reign in women; He actually chose a woman to be the first to tell the story of His resurrection (and there are many, many more stories of Jesus' interactions with women, none of which are oppressive to the women). In every abusive culture, the women are oppressed in some way, hushed and given a back seat to the men. Run, run as fast as you can from such a place.
4. People who tell you how godly they are. We attended a church once where the pastor told the people how godly he was in every single service. We didn't last 6 months there. When someone touts their own perceived godliness, you can bet they have something to hide. This is another attempt to deflect negative attention from themselves. If someone tells me they are godly, I steer clear of that person and warn my family.
5. People who compare their lives to others and always come out on top. The Duggars do this often, prefacing sentences with "Other families (do this or that) but we (do something godlier)." Comparing themselves to others - and always coming out on top - is a very common tactic of abusers.

Maybe I need to make a more comprehensive list. I do know that reading and studying God's Word for oneself is a sure antidote to abuse of all kinds. We are told to study His Word, yet I find the vast majority of Christians using some study book or commentary instead of the Bible itself. I find this troubling. It's disturbing to me to see Christians using commentaries as study tools. They are not. But, that is fodder for another blog post.

There is hope for Josh in the blood of Jesus Christ.
Because of Jesus, he can own his sin and not be crushed by it.
Since they are so public and prefer to be public and since Josh included me in his statement, I think it's important to set the record straight: the Duggars do not represent Christianity. They represent a set of rules, not found in Scripture, that help them live their abusive lifestyle.

Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift in Jesus Christ.
~Tricia

Human Capital - Episode 3: Planned Parenthood's Custom Abortions for Sup...

Once again, I applaud The Center for Medical Progress for exposing more and more of Planned Parenthood's atrocities against human life.

It's beyond my understanding how anyone, liberal or conservative, can think this is ok.

The same people who fret and arrest over the removal of turtle eggs from a creek or cry over animals hunted are the same people who think it's ok to take a human baby, whose heart is beating, and cut it up like a piece of meat.



We need to stop them.

We need to defund Planned Parenthood.



~Tricia

Planned Parenthood Cannot Stand against the Prayers of the Children of the Almighty

Unless you've living under a rock or in a cave, you are aware of the videos made by the Center for Medical Progress exposing Planned Parenthood's business of dissecting human babies and selling their parts for profit. Their latest video, which you can watch here, was released today.

I applaud them for taking the time, energy, expense and courage to get this information, make it public and show the world what many of us have known Planned Parenthood has been doing.

I have actually read a couple blogs that criticize people for sharing the videos, saying,  "It's so easy to share a video, but why don't you do something?

Don't you realize that these very videos are the result of us doing something?

I was a crisis pregnancy counselor for 12 years with Life Saver Ministries. I not only helped young women tell their parents they were pregnant, I sat with them and taught them how their babies were growing. I assisted in births. I handled adoptions, even having the new parents pick up their baby at my home. I held young women who had had abortions before they came to me and were filled with awful regret (100% of the women who had abortions regretted it).

But, all this is not what we did in the case of these videos.

I was the director of a crisis pregnancy center, counseling those young women to not abort, giving them hope by helping them with layettes, friendship and someone to talk to on lonely nights when things were overwhelming, and Jesus Christ, the Giver of life.

Many of us have done what we can, but none of this is what we did about these videos.

What we did was pray. 

For years we have prayed that Planned Parenthood would be exposed.
For years we have prayed that we would find a way to save the babies and provide help and hope to these mothers.

These videos are the direct result of our prayers.
You see, I believe in prayer. I believe in approaching God's throne with boldness and I believe in approaching it often.
So many times I prayed in desperation, as many others have, that somehow this would be exposed.
I believe exposing Planned Parenthood's practices would make even the most liberal thinker reconsider and perhaps babies could be saved.
Oh, yes, I'm a conservative. I am pro-life. I do not believe a woman has the right to kill another human being for the sake of convenience, or trauma or any other reason aside from saving her own life (which is so very, very rare).

But above all my conservatism, above my pro-life position, above my opinion that a society that would approve and even advocate the murder of their young is a sick society, I am a woman who believes the Almighty God, the Lord of creation, the Keeper of the universe, answers prayer.

So, I prayed. And many others have prayed over the years.
And, now, we are seeing those prayers answered and Planned Parenthood is on the receiving end of God's answers to the many, many prayers of those of us who believe He is the only Answer to save our babies and their mothers.

So, you other bloggers who think that unless we actually made the videos, or marched in some protest or stood in a place where you could see us, that we haven't done enough or aren't doing enough to stop abortion, I'm here to remind you that years of prayer is not a small thing.

Almighty God hears.
Almighty God answers.
Almighty God knows every single baby who was ripped from his or her mother's womb and put into the trash.
And Almighty God has heard us and is answering even as I write this.

~Tricia